Hope (Forbes Mates Book 5) Read online

  He wasn’t sure if he shared Miguel’s optimism, though he couldn’t stop hoping there was a pack out there that they could be happy—together—in.

  It could have gone worse. The San Jacinto/Santa Rosa alpha was nice enough. Once he found out Miguel and Luis were mates, though, he’d made it clear he just didn’t want them there. Their train had arrived very late, and the alpha didn’t have to come meet them at that hour, but he did, at the Jack in the Box not far from the station.

  They’d been surprised to find a wolf behind the counter. She’d been nice and tried to warn them the alpha wouldn’t want them, but they insisted on talking to him. Of course, she’d been right, but she hadn’t said “I told you so.” Instead, she’d given them a bag of food and a ride to the bus station when her shift was over.

  And now they were on a bus, heading for the next pack—Tonto, out of Phoenix—in the hope that this pack would accept them. Neither wanted to go farther than they had to. Despite his parents’ reactions, Luis still loved them and wanted to be able to go home again when things settled down—if they did. At the very least, he wanted to be close to Miguel’s mamá. So, on to Phoenix as the next-closest.

  Luis wasn’t naïve. He knew there was plenty of homophobia out there. He’d watched the news unfold about the Orlando shooting. He heard and saw plenty of it every day on television and the Internet. But he’d truly never imagined the wolves to be that way. Perhaps they simply hadn’t known homophobic wolves. Or maybe the homophobic wolves had just kept their opinions to themselves.

  He laid his head on Miguel’s shoulder and accepted the comfort his mate offered him. He wished now that they’d managed to bond more. At the same time, if they had, Miguel would feel how worried he was even more.

  When they pulled into the Phoenix station, Miguel found himself annoyed that there didn’t seem to be anything nearby. He’d spent so much time in a city—a real, big city, with a McDonald’s and an In-N-Out on every corner—that to step outside and see nothing besides the bus station but an airport and desert was disheartening.

  He shoved the thought off and found the text from his mamá with the Tonto alpha’s phone number. In a few moments, he had directions to a McDonald’s a little distance away by city bus and where to pick it up. They stored their bags in a locker and headed out.

  But barely two hours later, he and Luis were once more waiting for a bus, this time with an even less friendly suggestion to move on. He couldn’t say the alpha was hostile necessarily, but the curled lip he got when he saw Miguel and Luis holding hands had said enough. The meeting had been very short, very tense, and ended with the alpha telling them there was a 2:45 a.m. bus from Phoenix going east and they “had better be on it.”

  Miguel was already tired of that reaction. While the pack in Palm Springs hadn’t been nearly as mean, he knew quite well it was because they were same-sex mates. Three packs, so far—their original and two others—hadn’t wanted them.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t tell them, Miguel.”

  Miguel sighed and kissed the top of Luis’s head. “I was just thinking something like that. If we didn’t, if we maybe… made something up about why we left, perhaps we could at least stay for a while.”

  Luis nodded. “We’ve only been gone, what… two days?”

  Miguel had to think. “Just over twenty-four hours, actually.”

  “Damn. It feels a lot longer.” Luis shook his head.

  “It doesn’t help that we haven’t really slept. With any luck, Gila will want us. Or at least, let us stay for a bit. Maybe we can get jobs to earn some money.”

  “That would be good. How much do we have left?”

  Miguel pulled out the cash they still had and carefully counted it, while trying not to be obvious that was what he was doing. The bus station was fairly empty, but he didn’t want to start anything, especially because the best way he had to defend himself and Luis involved claws and fangs. “After the tickets to Deming, just over a hundred dollars. The tickets from Deming to Silver City are another thirty for the two of us. We could see about selling Mamá’s ring in Silver City, if we need to.”

  “Let’s… let’s not do that until we are out of money.”

  Hugging Luis close, Miguel nodded. “Yeah, I don’t want to either, if we can help it.”

  They fell silent, occasionally glancing at the television in the corner, while keeping an eye on the Border Patrol officer sitting in another corner. They both had US driver’s licenses, but that didn’t mean much if he wanted to cause problems for them. He reminded himself to speak English. Then, trying not to worry, Miguel did his best to simply enjoy holding Luis. Luis’s breathing evened out, and Miguel did what he could to resettle his mate in the horribly uncomfortable metal nightmares they called bench seats.

  He wasn’t sure if he was more relieved or more nervous when they could start lining up for the bus. He so wanted Gila to be where they could stay, if for no other reason than they could stop moving from place to place for a while. He buried both emotions so he didn’t alert Luis to anything, and they got in line.

  Luis had hoped for a bit more from Deming, though he didn’t know why. They didn’t have a full bus station. It was a stop at the Shell gas station just off the highway. After purchasing tickets for the local bus to Silver City, they got directions to a nearby Mexican restaurant the Shell owner promised was authentic and relatively cheap. Neither wanted to spend the money, but the convenience foods in their backpacks were already running low, and they had no idea when they’d get more.

  And if the Gila alpha didn’t want them either, they were definitely going to need as much of their dwindling money as they could hold onto. But they needed to eat, so they decided to spend a little bit and followed the directions down the road. On a side street only a couple of blocks away, they found a hole-in-the-wall restaurant with bright yellow paint on the outside and a dim interior full of old wood.

  The station owner apparently knew what he was talking about, because the food had been good—so good, it reminded Luis of home and made him ache. “What are we going to tell him?”

  Miguel sighed. “I’m not sure, really. I think, as much as I hate it, we shouldn’t tell him we are mates.”

  Luis shook his head. “No. I don’t like it either, but I hate more having to keep moving.”

  “We won’t be able to hide it forever,” Miguel said, looking out the windows.

  “I know. My wolf doesn’t understand, and he is getting more impatient by the day.”

  “Mine too.” Miguel turned back, meeting Luis’s gaze. “For now, I think maybe we should just say we disagreed with our parents about a few things and thought it would be better to spend some time away. Mamá said she’d talk to them, so if I text her first, she’ll tell them the same thing. We’ll find a way later to tell them we’re mates, hopefully after we’ve been there for a bit and they decide they like us too much.”

  Luis laughed. “So sure of that, are you?”

  “Well, I mean… this charming personality?” He waved at himself.

  “You are so full of it.” Luis snorted a laugh.

  “You’re supposed to think I’m charming!” He leaned across the table. “You’re my mate. Doesn’t that mean you agree?”

  Luis couldn’t stop his grin, but he shook his head. “Hardly. It just means Diana picked me to put up with you.”

  Miguel huffed. “Some mate you are.”

  Luis laughed again. “Yeah, if your own mate doesn’t keep your ego in check, no one will.”

  This brought a full belly laugh from Miguel. “Te amo, Luis.”

  “Te amo.” With another grin, Luis pointed at Miguel’s plate. “Now, eat. We have a bus to catch.”

  The bus to Silver City didn’t take too long, and before Luis was ready for it, they were standing on the street while Miguel put in the alpha’s number and hit the “call” button. He only heard one side of the conversation because the noise of the street drowned out the alpha’s voice, but he gath
ered enough that the alpha’s mate was on her way to pick them up.

  He needed to calm himself down. The alpha was bound to hear his pounding heart. He didn’t need to tip the man off to anything other than what they’d decided. And if he was too nervous, the alpha was going to know they were lying.

  Luis hated the thought of lying to an alpha—even a lie by omission—especially someone they needed to accept them. But they couldn’t keep going like this either.

  An SUV pulled into the parking lot, and an older lady got out. She must have been easily over a hundred—and likely more—if she was actually looking older. Gray streaked through her hair in a few places and the faintest of lines creased the skin around her eyes. Considering how long their kind lived—upwards of three hundred years, the signs were rather significant. “You must be Miguel and Luis.” She smiled at them, and the welcome in her face helped Luis feel a little better.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Miguel said, and Luis was glad to let him talk. He’d have said “Señora,” and he wasn’t sure if she’d appreciate that. He had no idea what the attitude towards Mexicans was around there. She didn’t seem to have a problem, though, based on her greeting and Luis breathed a tiny sigh of relief over that part, at least.

  “Oh, please. Call me Beth. Welcome to Silver City. Mike is at the lodge, checking a new couple in, so I came to get you.”

  “Thank you, Beth. I am Miguel, and this is Luis. It’s nice to meet you.”

  She shook his hand, then turned and offered hers to Luis, who also took it. He liked the warmth he felt from her, and his hope that they’d found a place got brighter.

  She opened the tailgate, and they tossed their bags in the back. Then Miguel got in the front and Luis happily took the back seat and kept quiet. As they drove, she talked about the city and the forest surrounding it.

  “We ask that you be past the walking trails before you shift and run. We have a small storage shed for clothes and such. No one goes that far, so it won’t be bothered.”

  Luis took in all she said about the lodge and surrounding areas, the rules for running, and the like. When they pulled up in front of the lodge, he liked the adobe style, the wide porches, and the open area surrounding the main building. He was used to city—he’d grown up in LA, after all—but he always appreciated open spaces when they could go run.

  She parked the SUV behind the main house and pointed at a series of smaller buildings around the parking lot. They each had two small windows and were done in the same adobe style with pale walls and dark wood. “This used to be quarters for the hands when this was a dude ranch ages ago. We put in new beds a while back for temporary helpers who now and again to work on the grounds. We haven’t had anyone in a while, though. We’ve been doing it all ourselves.” She opened the door, then flipped on a light switch in the first of the tiny buildings. Two twin beds sat against opposite walls on one end. A doorway opened to a turquoise-tiled bathroom, though Luis couldn’t see much of it. A small chest of drawers and a tiny table and two chairs filled the rest of the space on the other end of the room. “It’s not much.”

  Miguel smiled. “This is great. Thank you. Could we clean up before we meet the alpha?”

  “Of course! Let me get you a couple of towels and things. We haven’t bothered with those since no one’s here.” With that, she left.

  “Well, this is promising,” Miguel said, turning to Luis.

  Luis nodded. “I don’t believe she suspects, or I doubt we would be in the same room.”

  “I doubt she would have shown us the room to begin with.” Miguel shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know for sure. She seems very nice, but….”

  “But the San Jacinto alpha was nice.” Luis stared across the short distance of the room at his mate, but didn’t dare to cross the space to hug, like he needed to.

  “I know you’re worried. Let’s just wait and see what the alpha says, okay?”

  Luis nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but a knock on the door stopped him. Miguel opened it, and Beth held out a stack of towels and linens.

  “I brought fresh sheets and pillowcases too. I’ll let you take care of that. We’ll be serving dinner in the lodge in a couple of hours, so if you could get over before then, we’d appreciate it. We’ve got a full house now, so we’ll be busy at dinner.”

  “Of course. We’ll be over as soon as we shower.”

  “All right, then. See you soon.” She waved and hurried away.

  As tempting as it was to share the shower, they took turns. In fact, Luis wasn’t sure he wanted to spend more than a few moments in Miguel’s company while they were naked. He was afraid his wolf would simply take over, and before they knew it, they’d be bonded, if not completely claimed.

  They didn’t need to risk it. Claimed mates smelled just enough like each other that other wolves could tell, and Luis knew all too well that way lay disaster.

  Miguel wished he could calm Luis over their bond. The worry and fear was so bad, he was nearly blasting Miguel with it. But of course, with no bonding beyond some kissing, there was nothing he could do.

  When they stepped into the front room of the lodge, Miguel paused. Rustic, overstuffed furniture made it look more like a living room than a lobby, except for the small check-in desk off to one side and the table full of brochures next to it.

  A man who could only be the alpha stood behind the desk. He stepped out, smiling. “Hello, and welcome to the Gila pack.”

  Miguel and Luis both tilted their heads, showing their necks in respect, and the alpha touched each of their shoulders. “Hello, alpha.”

  “Call me Mike, please. I don’t stand on ceremony here. We don’t have a big pack, and most of us have been around forever.” He winked. “Don’t tell my wife I said that.”

  “I heard that!” Beth called from the kitchen.

  Mike laughed, and Miguel decided he liked the alpha. The worry and fear from Luis even eased a bit. He glanced at Luis and smiled. “Thank you for seeing us. We’ve been on the road for a while.”

  “I can imagine. Beth said you’re from LA?”

  Miguel nodded. “Yes. We both graduated high school this year.”

  “Young, then. What brings you all the way out here?”

  Miguel glanced at Luis again, then back to the alpha. “We disagreed with our parents on a few things—including that we weren’t ready for college—and thought it might be best to spend some time away, perhaps work and earn some experience and money.”

  Mike considered them for a moment, then nodded. “Well, there’s plenty to do around here. I can’t pay you a lot, but we won’t charge you for the room, and you can eat with us, if you’d like. As long as you don’t bring trouble with you,” he added.

  Miguel tried not to let his face show worry over that and instead nodded. “We will keep busy and out of the way,” he promised.

  “Yes, alpha,” Luis added.

  Mike waved at that. “Please, Mike. If for no other reason than we don’t want to alert guests, okay?”

  Luis nodded. “Yes, of course. Sorry.”

  “No ‘sorry.’ Don’t worry about it. Dinner’s in a couple of hours. Why don’t you go get a feel for the place, see where everything is? There’s a map of the trails over on the table. We’ll talk about your duties after dinner.”

  They lay in their separate beds later that night, facing each other, more than a little afraid to risk sleeping together. Miguel wanted to. After two days of holding Luis, not holding him was even harder than before.

  “Do you think we’ll be able to stay?”

  Miguel nodded. “At least for now. I don’t think they suspect anything. Hopefully, we’ll at least be able to earn some money before they figure it out.”

  Luis sighed. “And they will, won’t they?”

  “Yeah. I don’t think there’s any chance they wouldn’t. Besides, our wolves won’t let us go without claiming forever.”

  “No, they won’t. Every time I see you, mine pushes me to bond and clai
m.”

  Miguel smiled. “Mine too. He wants you almost as bad as I do.”

  Luis grinned. “Almost?”

  “I’d hope I want you more than my beast does.”

  This brought a laugh from Luis. “Yes, I would hope.” He sighed. “We should get some sleep. We haven’t had real rest in two days now. And we have work tomorrow.”

  “Which I’m grateful for. At least we are in the same room and together, right?”

  “Yes. Good night, cariño,” Luis whispered.

  “Good night, baby. Te amo.”

  Luis returned the words and closed his eyes.

  Miguel did the same, but despite how tired he was, it took him a long time to fall asleep.

  They made it a little over two weeks. They’d kept busy, cleaning up trails, trimming brush, and repainting things. After the first week or so, Luis suspected the alpha was digging up things for them to do, but he wasn’t going to complain. They’d earned quite a bit of money, so when they were asked to move on, they could keep going for a while.

  So far they hadn’t even had to sell Miguel’s mamá’s ring. It stayed in an inside pocket of one of the backpacks, hidden, their unspoken last resort.

  Luis had known it wouldn’t last. Mike and Beth were very nice, as was the pack beta, a Native man named John Chavis, who ran the local horseback riding stables. He’d taught them how to saddle and unsaddle the horses, how to brush them down. When they ran out of things to paint and clean at the lodge, they’d cleaned out stalls and fed the horses, helping around the stables. John had even paid them for it, and they’d put that money away with the rest of their earnings.

  Despite how nice everyone was, Luis had known something would happen. They were on borrowed time. Something would give them away. It ended up being the last thing they expected.

  After dinner some eighteen days after they got to Silver City, Mike called them into the kitchen at the lodge. Beth was putting away the last of the dishes as they sat around the small table in the corner with iced tea.