Devotion Read online

  But Tanner thought he had a damned good reason. Tanner had seen the disastrous results first hand of what could happen if two people mated too young, and he wasn’t going to let that happen to them. He sighed, turned on his heel, and followed Finley’s scent around the corner to the small set of stairs he sat on, took the spot next to him, and looked over.

  Finley’s anger had obviously died. Tanner couldn’t read the expression on the handsome face, and the emotions weren’t strong enough to sense, but he was certainly not happy. “Why?” Finley asked, for probably the millionth time in two years. And the thousandth in just the last month.

  Tanner sighed again, feeling really fucking old, even though he only had six years on Finley. “We’ve been over this, Fin.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe if you explain it again, I’ll get something that I didn’t before.”

  ‘Tanner shook his head. “Nothing’s changed, Fin. You need to finish growing up. You need to—”

  “Go to college, experience things, blah, blah, blah.” Finley shook his head. “First, I am grown up. Second… shouldn’t that be my decision to make?”

  While Tanner knew Finley had a point—the same point he’d had for two years—Tanner could all too readily see Finley resenting him for tying them together so soon. To make matters worse, Finley would blame himself because he’d pushed for it. Then he’d feel even worse about the whole thing, and they’d end up in a big mess, if Finley didn’t downright hate Tanner or himself.

  “Look, I agreed to wait until eighteen. I got it. As much as we can weasel out of, we can’t get out of everything associated with human law. So, I agreed to wait so no one got arrested for statutory rape. But for fuck’s sake, Tan, I’m over eighteen now.”

  And still too young for some of it. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to tell Finley that last part. While it wasn’t the biggest hang-up he had over this, it was still something he didn’t think Finley was ready to go through. He rubbed his face. “Look, I—”

  “Never mind. Just take me home,” Finley said, standing up.

  Tanner frowned but wasn’t going to argue. He reached out to take Fin’s hand, but Finley stuffed both into his jeans pockets, making it clear the touch wasn’t welcome. Tanner swallowed at the snub and focused on walking. When they got to the car and were settling in, he had to try again. He hated when they fought, which they’d been doing a lot of since Finley had turned eighteen. “Baby, I—”

  “Don’t ‘baby’ me. Just drive,” Finley said through a clenched jaw.

  Tanner suppressed yet another sigh and started the car.

  FINLEY FUMED silently in the passenger seat the whole way back to his parents’ house. He was tired of waiting. Two years of being put off by his mate, the one the fates had chosen for him. Two years of intense sexual frustration—jacking off provided very little relief—knowing who he wanted, who he should have, but not being able to have them. He wasn’t about to go fuck someone else, not when he had a mate—even if he didn’t have the man—but he was tired of not having him, of not having anything.

  Two years of watching the one person who wasn’t supposed to be able to walk away from him… walk away from him. Time and time again.

  He held on to his anger as long as he could. He wasn’t going to give in to the other stuff until he was in his room, away from his parents and sisters, and Tanner had left again and was far enough away that it wouldn’t transmit over their bond. He’d always bemoaned the distance limitation of it, loving that feeling of connection, however light. But now he was glad for it because he couldn’t let Tanner know how all this was feeling. He couldn’t. He could not let Tanner see how much it hurt to be rejected over and over and over again.

  He was beginning to wonder if Tanner really wanted him. He didn’t understand why Tanner couldn’t see that he could get all those experiences and still be mated. That he didn’t want those without Tanner. That he wanted to be with Tanner when he succeeded in school, wanted to see Tanner’s pride in him for doing well.

  He knew, eventually, Tanner was going to be alpha, and, as the alpha’s mate, there’d be responsibility to go with that. But Tanner’s father wasn’t anywhere near ready to step down. It would be quite a few years before that was even an issue. As long-lived as they were, Tanner’s father, at forty-two, was still considered young as far as shifters go. They had time for that.

  So he couldn’t figure out why. Tanner’s excuses were just that: excuses. The only thing Finley could get from them was that Tanner didn’t really want him and hadn’t figured out how to tell him yet.

  Oh, he knew Tanner wanted him physically. The few times he’d managed to get Tanner to kiss and make out, he’d certainly felt Tanner’s response. Like in the club, Tanner was usually as hard as he was. But he couldn’t get so much as a mutual hand job out of the man, much less anything more.

  He didn’t understand it. He did get why they waited until he was eighteen before doing anything, even if he didn’t like it. There was no way they could end up in a human jail. Their wolves couldn’t take that kind of captivity, and when they spontaneously shifted from the stress… well, that just wasn’t going to work. So he’d waited, because he knew there was always the chance someone from the human high school he attended could call and even his parents couldn’t get them out of it.

  But the waiting was killing him. Especially since he had a lot more invested than his dick. He’d long since fallen in love with his mate, long since added his heart to the mix. And knowing that love wasn’t returned was eating at him.

  He’d started his little trips to the clubs right after he’d turned eighteen and Tanner had started giving his new excuses—college, experiences, the whole pile of crap. So Finley had decided he needed to try to push things, provoke something more out of Tanner. He wanted to see if he could get Tanner to do something.

  But so far all he’d gotten was the occasional dance, like tonight, and more often, annoyed looks, a lot of sighs, and being dropped back off at his parents’ house while Tanner went home. Alone.

  And Finley went to bed to jack off. Again.

  He couldn’t even seem to get anything possessive out of Tanner. Tonight, his grabbing the blond guy’s hand had been the first time anything like that had happened. Most of the time, Tanner just grabbed him and dragged him out of the club.

  Finley was tired of waiting. He was tired of dancing around this shit. He was tired of being put off. He was eighteen, hadn’t so much as touched another guy’s dick, much less had sex, and he was sick of it.

  Most of their kind were mated at this time. He knew some were waiting longer, usually because they went to college and the like. And Finley might have happily gone off to college and taken another four years—if he hadn’t met his destined mate and this hadn’t felt so urgent.

  But it did and he was going crazy from it. It was time to force the issue. If Tanner didn’t want him, it was time to find someone who did.

  He wanted his destined mate. He wanted the man he was in love with. But he could, and would, sever the bond that they’d started and form one with someone new.

  Someone who wanted him.

  Maybe it was time for a change of scenery. No one else in their pack was gay, much less interested him. In fact, the only other two teenagers his age had both been jocks in school and very much not someone he hung out with. His grandparents had been hinting that they’d love for him to visit, and his grandmother—who didn’t seem to understand the age thing either—had been going on and on about this new “pup” in their pack who was gay.

  When Tanner pulled up in front of Finley’s house, he couldn’t bring himself to say a word. He climbed out, slammed the door, and went in the house without looking back.

  He called to his mother to let her know he was home, then took the steps two at a time. Once he was in his bedroom, he stripped to his boxers, curled up on his bed, stared at the ceiling. He listened for Tanner’s car to pull out of the driveway; then he’d give in, let the memory o
f their meeting fill him as it seemed to do so much these days. And once Tanner was far enough away, he could let the rest of his emotions out.

  TANNER WATCHED Finley nearly run into his parents’ house and sighed. He didn’t understand why Finley was so damned impatient. Sure, he had a pretty respectable case of blue balls after two years of keeping his hands off his mate. But Finley was more than worth it.

  The man was beautiful and funny and amazing. He could deal with a little—okay, more than a little—sexual frustration to make sure he didn’t rush something with that beautiful man. He could handle blue balls if it meant he could help make sure Finley didn’t end up feeling like he’d made a mistake by mating so young.

  Sometimes Tanner wished he hadn’t met Finley two years ago. Sometimes he wished he’d met Finley later so this wouldn’t be such an issue. He couldn’t be that lucky, though, and he’d met Finley when he wasn’t even legally allowed to have sex with an adult in their state.

  Tanner bounced his head on the steering wheel, then pulled out of the driveway. He needed to figure out how to fix this with Finley, get them to stop fighting so much. He had a feeling it was going to have to wait until the next day, though. He was already tired, and memories of meeting Finley were too close to the surface.

  Chapter Two

  Two years ago

  “TANNER! LET’S go! We’ve got to meet some people yet tonight!” his mom called from the first floor.

  She didn’t need to shout. Tanner’s hearing was plenty sensitive enough to catch a normal speaking voice. So Tanner knew she was not happy. “Go ahead if you need to. I can drive myself!”

  “We’ll wait. Just hurry!”

  Tanner shook his head and finished combing his hair. He didn’t know why he bothered. It was going to get messed up as soon as he shifted anyway. And it wasn’t like he was going to suddenly meet a hot, gay new pack member. Yeah, he was meeting new members tonight, but the likeliness they were gay was very low.

  Still, he tossed the comb aside and snatched up his toothbrush. He hurried through, then finally went downstairs. “There. Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. He needed to move out of his parents’ place and get his own, but he just hadn’t really found much reason yet.

  They piled in his dad’s Jeep, and Tanner’s mind got lost in website design for a while, trying to figure out what might help his new customer. He was, in fact, so focused on it that he hadn’t even noticed when they turned onto the private pack drive. It wasn’t until his dad slowed down that he paid attention again.

  He jumped out of the car as soon as his dad had it in park and was reaching for the hem of his T-shirt when his mom put out a hand.

  “New pack members, remember?”

  “Oh, right.”

  “Yes, as open as we are, it might be nice to meet them human and dressed first, hmm?”

  Tanner blushed but nodded. “Yeah, sorry.” He looked around the clearing, but recognized all the vehicles currently parked there.

  “Let’s go have a seat, hon,” his mom suggested, and they walked the short distance to the small clearing just on the other side of the tree line.

  It was set up to look like a campsite so if someone stumbled across it, they wouldn’t think much of it. They’d put a large ring of stones in the center for campfires. To one side, they had three picnic tables—mostly for the older wolves still around. To the other, a collection of logs created a semicircle near the fire for sitting. There was space on the other side for chairs, and plenty of open ground for blankets and the like.

  The pack often gathered there socially throughout the summer. In fact, they usually spent the human holidays—Memorial Day, the Fourth of July, and Labor Day—there, grilling out, playing human games, and later, after dark, playing as their wolves. It was the main location they held their religious festivals—like the Festival of Diana or the day honoring Romulus. They’d celebrated more than one mating, and even held a few human weddings in the clearing.

  It was the full moon, so some of the pack was already gathered around the fire someone had lit. A few of the older members took up one of the picnic tables, and Tanner’s dad—Alpha Noah—had gone over to greet them. A few of the wolves at the table were on his dad’s elder council and would be on Tanner’s when the time came for him to take over. He hoped he had a while to go before then, though. He wasn’t nearly ready for anything like that.

  He wanted a mate first, for one thing.

  He wasn’t sure he’d get one. He’d never heard of same-sex destined mates before. He’d met a few other same-sex couples in the shifting community at the alpha conference, but they’d chosen to mate.

  Just because he hadn’t heard of it, though, didn’t mean they didn’t exist. He knew that; he just had his doubts.

  He shrugged the thought off and went over to greet his father’s beta.

  “Hello, son,” Bob said, holding out his hand.

  Tanner shook it. “Hi, Bob. How’s the tavern?”

  “Same as always,” his wife answered for him. She smiled and leaned in to hug Tanner. “You’re of age now. Ought to see you in there more often.”

  Tanner chuckled. “Dad’d kill me if I spent too much time there. Supposed to be focused.”

  Bob snorted. “I’ll tell him that the next time he’s there.”

  “Are you telling stories again, Bob?” Tanner’s dad asked as he stepped up.

  Tanner grinned up at his dad. “So, I’m not supposed to go, but you can?” he asked, amused.

  His dad raised an eyebrow at him. “I was just discussing pack business.”

  “The draft hopefuls for the Steelers do not constitute pack business,” Bob said, laughing.

  “You’re my beta. You’re supposed to have my back.”

  The full-alpha glare didn’t seem to faze Bob. He just snorted. “Never promised to protect your reputation. Only your sorry gray hide.”

  “Thanks ever so much. Hey, Laura, did Bob tell you—”

  “Okay, hey, isn’t that the new family?”

  Tanner sniffed, noticing a new scent. He turned with his dad to see who’d come in, and the smell that greeted him nearly knocked him off his feet. Pine trees, warmth, and sunshine. Something deeper and masculine woven into it.

  Mate.

  Tanner blinked at the lanky young guy walking with the new family. He was the same height as the older guy with him—probably his dad—but where his dad had brown hair, he had solid black. And as they got closer, Tanner saw the most amazing bright green eyes. A wide smile split the young face as he looked around the clearing.

  His dad said something, but Tanner couldn’t even begin to pay attention. The man in front of him—the young man in front of him—was his mate. As soon as he took another breath, his cock went painfully hard, and right on the heels of that, his vision turned to grays, his claws extended, and his teeth dropped. It took everything he had to keep from spontaneously shifting the rest of the way right that very second.

  The guy looked over, nostrils flaring, and stared right back at Tanner, mouth hanging open. He blinked, and his own eyes bled black and teeth extended at the same time. Tanner didn’t have to look to see if the man was hard, he could smell the arousal from ten feet away.

  Tanner felt something form between them, linking them and realized it was the beginnings of the bond between destined mates.

  “You’re my mate,” Tanner blurted, then immediately blushed.

  The guy blinked at him again, face darkening. With the black-and-white vision, Tanner couldn’t see the red, but he was pretty sure his mate was blushing. “Uh… hello?” the guy said, glancing at the two older people with him.

  Tanner finally remembered there were people other than his mate standing there. His own cheeks darkened, and it took all his effort to wrestle his wolf back into place. He cleared his throat, and his face got hotter at the looks of amusement on all four parents’ faces. “Hi,” Tanner finally managed to spit out.

  They all laughed, except the two littl
e girls with them.

  “Mommy?” the shorter one said. “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing, Beth. We’ll tell you later.”

  She stomped a foot. “You always say that.” She crossed her arms and looked up at her brother. “Fin? What’s so funny?”

  “Mom and Dad are laughing at what my… m-mate just said.”

  Beth’s eyes went wide. “Who’s your mate?” She looked around like she was missing someone.

  Fin pointed at Tanner. “Apparently, that’s my mate. Uh, Mom and Dad? I’m gay.”

  Tanner’s mouth dropped open, his eyes widening as he realized he’d just outed Fin to his parents. “Oh sh—uh, crap.” Tanner corrected himself at his dad’s growl. “I’m sorry!”

  Fin’s father just laughed and waved his hand. “Finley, we’ve known for years.”

  He blinked at his dad. “You have?”

  His mom answered. “Yes, honey. You’ve always thought boys were cuter than girls. When you didn’t grow out of the ‘girls are gross’ stage, we kind of figured it out.” She chuckled at Finley’s blush, then turned to look at Tanner. “Well, something tells me it was no coincidence you got that job here, hon,” she said, glancing at her mate.

  “No, I’m guessing not. I’m your mate’s father. Jacob Cooper,” he said, holding his hand out.

  “Uh, Tanner Pearce. I’m the alpha’s son. Nice to meet you.”

  “I was wondering when you’d get around to remembering your manners,” his dad grumbled.

  “Noah! He just met his mate. Give the boy a break!” his mom said, shaking her head. “Why don’t you two go talk a little before the moon rises?”

  “Thanks, Mom,” Tanner muttered, then turned to… his mate. “Hi, uh, would you like to go talk?”

  Finley turned to look at his parents.

  Mrs. Cooper waved at him. “Of course!” she said before he could speak. “Go! I’m so excited and happy for you!” She hugged him, then pushed him toward Tanner.