No Sacrifice Read online

  When he came down, he collapsed, unable to hold himself up any longer. Patrick’s arms and legs came around him, but he could do little more than turn his head and drop a kiss on Patrick’s skin. He felt the cum between them sticking to him, but in that moment, he couldn’t have possibly cared less.

  He’d just made love with Patrick.

  Patrick Tearney, who was not only his best friend but now his lover.

  Patrick… who loved him.

  He finally looked up and lifted one hand to brush his fingers over Patrick’s cheek. Patrick looked nervous. Chance blinked, then forced himself to move enough to lean up. “What is it, love?”

  Patrick seemed taken aback. “You meant it, then?”

  Chance raised an eyebrow. “Meant what, baby? What’s wrong?”

  “You….” He took a breath. “You love me?”

  Chance carefully pulled from Patrick’s body, knowing from experience his lover was likely to be at least a little sore after that. He moved, stretching out next to Patrick, and pulled the man in against him. He cupped one cheek, leaned in, and left a soft, slow kiss on Patrick’s lips. “Yes, I do.” Patrick blew out a breath and smiled one of the most beautiful smiles Chance had ever seen. “My God, you’re gorgeous when you do that,” Chance said, staring.

  Patrick’s eyebrows went up. “Do what?”

  “Smile like that.” He shook his head. Patrick blushed, and Chance chuckled. “And you’re cute when you do that.”

  Patrick scowled at him, making him laugh. “You’re not funny.”

  “Wasn’t trying to be.” He kissed Patrick again, this one as soft and slow as the last. “Did you mean it?” he asked, unable to stop the small whisper of fear in his own head.

  Patrick nodded. “Yes, I did. I do.”

  Chance considered him for a long moment. “I have a confession to make.”

  Patrick raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

  “Yes.” Chance took a deep breath and couldn’t quite look at Patrick. “I used to have a crush on you. Before we started talking.”

  “You… did?” Patrick asked, and the stunned tone of voice made Chance look up.

  He nodded. “Yeah. I’ve, uh, kinda been watching you from a distance for a long time.”

  “Wow.” Patrick blinked at him. “That’s… really kind of cool, actually.” He smiled.

  “You’re not mad? Or, uh, er, creeped out?”

  “Nope,” Patrick said, shaking his head and chuckling. “It makes me feel good. I mean… it’s not like you were stalking me, were you?”

  Chance snorted and shook his head.

  “Right, and you didn’t get the job on the set just to watch me. Did you?”

  Chance chuckled. “No. I hadn’t actually seen you until I was working there.”

  “There you go.” He played with Chance’s hair for a moment. “So, uh….” He cleared his throat, cheeks coloring again.

  Chance raised his eyebrows. “What?”

  “So, uh, are… um… are we….” He growled and rolled his eyes. “Fuck’s sake, you’d think I had no brains,” he muttered. It was meant to be to himself, Chance was sure of it, but couldn’t help chuckling.

  Chance thought he knew what Patrick was trying to ask, so he said, “I hope you’ll be my boyfriend.”

  Patrick let out a breath. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I… yes. I’d like that. I… aw hell, I feel like an idiot,” he said, staring at Chance’s collarbone. “I don’t know anything. I’ve never been in… well, a same-sex relationship before. I don’t even know what to call… some… things.”

  Chance smiled and kissed Patrick’s forehead. “I don’t care. That’s not what attracted me to you. It’s not what made me fall in love with you, and it’s not going to be a deciding factor in our relationship.”

  Patrick looked up, a little sheepishly. “Really?”

  Chance nodded, brushing hair out of Patrick’s face. “Really.”

  Patrick beamed, and then the smile faded a little. “Um… what about Avery?”

  Chance tilted his head. “What about him? I love him like he’s my own son. I kinda figured you already knew that.”

  “He’ll like that. I wasn’t lying earlier. He loves you too.”

  “He’s a great kid.”

  “Just wait,” Patrick said, chuckling. “Wait until he has a real meltdown. We’ll see if you still love him then.”

  Chance laughed. “I will, don’t worry. That’s normal.”

  They fell silent for a long moment, and Chance leaned in and kissed Patrick again. When they broke apart, Patrick looked up. “Will you stay?”

  “I was hoping you’d ask,” Chance replied. “I’d love to hold you while we sleep.”

  The smile spread across Patrick’s face again. “Good. I… I’d like to be held.”

  “Well, then, let’s get cleaned up and we can do that.”

  A few minutes later, they were settling under the covers, still quite naked. Chance pulled Patrick against him, wrapped his arms around his lover, and dropped a kiss on top of Patrick’s head. “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you too, Chance.” He turned around, and they kissed one more time.

  “Good night, baby.”

  Chance saw the smile as Patrick turned back around. “Good night, a ghrá,” Patrick whispered.

  Chance’s own smile widened as they settled in. He remembered very well their first meeting and Patrick’s telling him about the term of endearment. A ghrá… it means “my love”…. He was Patrick’s love. Chance closed his eyes, and with Patrick in his arms, fell asleep quickly.

  Chapter 15

  Patrick lay in the early morning quiet, watching the line of sunlight move up the wall across from him. After two years of waking before the sun for early makeup calls, then for an exuberant almost four-year-old, it was difficult to sleep in, even with the late night.

  Then again, Patrick had slept better the night before than he had in… years. And he knew exactly why that was.

  They hadn’t moved much since they’d fallen asleep. They were still lying on their sides, and Chance was still spooning him, one arm tight around his waist. He could feel Chance’s breath in his hair.

  Unlike when he went to sleep, though, his cock was rock hard. He got morning wood now and again, but it hadn’t happened in a while. He suspected part of it was the sexy naked body against him. And the rest was Chance’s own hard dick that was currently nestled along the crack of his ass. Patrick was thoroughly enjoying the feel of it.

  He let himself drift back to the night before. Entirely aside from the fact that he’d bottomed, he’d never experienced sex like that before. He probably felt that good with Emily back in the beginning, but he’d long since forgotten it. And something seemed… deeper… more, somehow, with Chance, and Patrick thought that might be because, though he did care about Emily, he probably never loved her nearly as much as he loved Chance.

  And he did love Chance. It had crept up on him, but he knew it’d been building for a while. He’d told Chance the night before he’d been thinking about them since the first night he met Chance all those months ago, and that had been true. He’d certainly also been attracted to the man back then. He remembered—rather vividly, in fact—how difficult it had been to keep from staring. But the love had certainly grown as their friendship had, and now he couldn’t imagine not loving Chance.

  Hearing the words returned had been a big part of what made everything better, sharper—more, in some way he couldn’t quite understand. He decided it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that it was, and he’d do his damnedest to make sure it stayed that way, that he showed Chance how much he loved the man, how important it all was to him.

  He was so lost in thought he didn’t notice, at first, the subtle changes in Chance that indicated wakefulness. He only realized it a few seconds before Chance spoke.

  “I could get used to sleeping like this.”

  Patrick beamed, unable to stop the smile from s
plitting his face. He turned in Chance’s arms, then hissed when their hard cocks rubbed as he resettled against his lover. “Fuck,” he muttered, trying to calm down, but it was damned near impossible with their legs tangled and dicks tight against each other.

  “Yeah, I could get used to that too,” Chance said, and Patrick laughed.

  “Me too. God, last night was….” He shook his head, unable to say exactly what it was.

  Chance reached up to push the sleep-mussed hair out of Patrick’s face. “Yeah, I know.” He leaned in, and their lips met in a soft kiss, though the emotion behind it was anything but. It smacked Patrick hard, and he had trouble getting air that had nothing to do with the physical kiss.

  When they broke apart, Patrick tried desperately to gather his scattered wits. He closed his eyes as his lungs chased oxygen, but it didn’t seem to help. He buried his face in Chance’s neck instead, inhaling the wonderful scent, but it only made things worse, and he bucked unconsciously, grinding their cocks together.

  “Baby, if you do too much of that, I’m going to come, and I’m not ready for that because I want that gorgeous cock of yours inside me when I do,” Chance murmured into Patrick’s ear.

  Patrick looked up, eyebrows raised, and blinked. “You… do?”

  Chance smiled and nodded. “Oh yeah.”

  “I thought—” Patrick dropped his eyes and could feel his cheeks heat. He’d seen that some guys did switch in the porn he’d watched. But, at least in what he’d watched, the overwhelming number of them seemed to be more of one than the other—either a top or a bottom, but not really both. He’d taken the mental jump, then, to thinking that’s how most gay and bi men were. He couldn’t quite look up at Chance. This was yet another place he was showing his ignorance. “Uh… I guess I just… thought that you… since you, uh, last night… well, wouldn’t want to… you know, bottom.”

  Chance put a finger under Patrick’s chin and tilted his face up. “I can guess why you thought that. But the truth is, I like to bottom about as much as I like to top. Your ass felt good, baby, but I’d bet your cock’s going to feel just as good.” Chance leaned in before Patrick could say anything and kissed him again. It was deep enough, full enough, to put Patrick’s mind firmly back on the arousal and away from the embarrassment. When they broke apart, Chance kissed Patrick’s forehead softly. “I love you, Patrick Tearney,” he whispered, then paused to drop another kiss on one of Patrick’s cheeks. “I love….”—the tip of his nose—“every”—his other cheek—“single”—his chin—“part of you”—and again on his lips.

  Patrick had never, in all his years, felt what he was feeling from Chance in that moment. Cherished. “I love you, Chance Dillon,” he replied, then returned the kiss. He didn’t seem to have the way with words Chance did, so he did his best to pour it into the kiss, into the touches he gave, brushing his fingers over Chance’s cheeks, threading them through Chance’s hair, then kissing ear, neck, shoulder—all softly, in love, rather than to arouse.

  But arouse it did, and before long their kisses turned heated, their lips and hands working each other over. Chance rolled onto his back, pulling Patrick with him. Patrick forced himself to lift up or he would have ended things very quickly. Instead, his mind on giving Chance what he knew his lover wanted, he dove for the side table where the condoms and lube had ended up the night before. He peered at the small bottle and frowned but figured there’d be just enough left for this.

  He popped open the cap and coated a finger, then caught Chance’s lips as he started pushing it in. He had no idea, really, what he was doing, so he followed Chance’s example from the night before. When he pulled back, he watched Chance’s face as he worked his finger around. He wondered if he could pleasure Chance the same way he’d been pleasured and pushed his finger farther in, feeling around.

  But he had no idea what he was doing, and in a minute or two, when nothing seemed to happen, he gave up. Chance caught his lips in another kiss, and when it ended, whispered, “You don’t have to be quite so careful with me as I was with you. I’ve certainly done this before—not for quite a while—but I have. Just stretch the muscles some with your fingers, okay?”

  Patrick nodded, trying very hard not to feel embarrassed at being instructed like he was in school. However, when he coated the second finger and pushed it in and he felt just how tight Chance was, he forgot all about that. Because his dick twitched hard as he thought about it being there instead of his fingers. He focused on what he needed to do, though, and when he felt the muscles around his fingers relax, he turned his attention to the condom.

  His nervousness seeped in, and he nearly messed up putting it on. He got annoyed with himself; it wasn’t like this was the first time he wore one. Finally it was in place, he’d used up most of the rest of the lube, and Chance had rolled over, pushing his ass toward Patrick.

  Patrick parted Chance’s asscheeks and lined up. He couldn’t seem to look away from where the tip of his cock disappeared into Chance’s ass. The visual was enough to make him crazy.

  But it was nothing compared to the sensation of the tight muscles closing around his dick. No wonder Chance liked both. If Patrick had topped first, he’d never have believed bottoming could be almost as good. What he was feeling in that moment was nothing short of pure bliss. “Oh fuck, that feels good,” he murmured when he was all the way in. “Fuck, Chance….”

  Chance seemed to be struggling for breath. “You can say that again,” he muttered. “You’re bigger than I thought, but…. Holy hell….” He swallowed, panted, and Patrick watched him drop his head and fight with himself. When Chance nodded, Patrick pulled out slowly and, just as slowly, thrust back in.

  That earned him a loud groan. “Fuck, baby!” There was strain in Chance’s voice with the pleasure, and he gripped the sheets hard in his fists.

  Patrick started to pull out, worried he was hurting Chance. “Uh, maybe I should—”

  “Oh hell no,” Chance said, reaching back with one hand and grabbing Patrick’s hip. “Just let me get used to it. Told you it’s been a while.”

  It was only by virtue of Chance’s struggle that Patrick kept still. Because Chance’s body felt fucking incredible, and he was fighting hard against his own body’s urge to pull back and give a good, hard thrust. He closed his eyes and worked to keep himself still and not make it more difficult.

  A moment later, however, Chance pulled off and turned around, kissing Patrick. “Let me ride you.”

  “We don’t have to—”

  Chance shook his head. “I want to, want you badly. If I do this—control it—I’ll be fine.” Chance kissed him again, and when they pulled back, Patrick nodded.

  “Okay,” Patrick said, settling in on his back. Chance straddled Patrick’s waist and slowly lowered himself onto Patrick’s cock. Patrick closed his eyes and again fought with how good it felt.

  When Chance was seated fully, Patrick looked up and met his blue eyes. “Oh yeah,” Chance said, smiling and nodding. He leaned back, braced himself on Patrick’s thighs, and started moving.

  And it took every ounce of willpower Patrick had to keep from going off in about thirty seconds flat. “Oh fuck!” Were it not for the fact that he’d gritted his teeth to hold in sounds, that would have awakened not only Avery, but probably most of their neighbors as well.

  In an attempt to gather his wits and hold onto some form of control, Patrick focused on Chance, wrapping his hand around the hard dick bobbing in front of him and trying to stroke it. “Try” was the operative word, because Chance felt so good with what he was doing that Patrick was having a hell of a time trying to focus.

  But then Chance shifted, gave a very loud moan of his own, and muttered, “Fuck yeah, there. Not….” His eyes slammed closed, and he moved faster, dropping down harder. Patrick was sure he was going to go completely insane. He finally managed some semblance of rhythm with Chance’s cock, which dragged another sound from his lover’s throat. Then Chance said, “Not gonna last
if you do that.”

  As much as Patrick would have loved to stretch it out, he knew he was only holding on by a thread as it was. He swiped his thumb over the tip of Chance’s cock, pulling another groan from his lover. Then Chance bit almost brutally at his lip, threw his head back, and gripped Patrick’s thighs hard. A moment later, he grunted loudly and sprayed his cum all over Patrick’s chest as he came.

  Patrick lost it, the visual the last little bit needed to take his sanity completely. He thrust up into Chance, unable not to, and Chance’s name came out on a strangled moan as the pleasure roared through him. He kept moving, lost to the orgasm that held on, pulling his own cum from his balls to fill the condom, then finally fading very slowly.

  Chance slumped forward, and they both fought hard for air, obviously trying to remember how to breathe properly. Patrick felt his softening cock start to pull from Chance’s ass, and Chance shifted enough to move off it completely. He flopped over next to Patrick, who rolled and leaned in, needing to kiss, to touch.

  Chance’s arms came around him and pulled him down. Their lips locked and tongues danced, and Patrick got completely lost in the kiss. When they parted, sometime later, Patrick rested his face on Chance’s chest, and Chance kissed his forehead, arms tightening around him. “I—” He had no idea what to say.

  “Yeah, I know,” Chance whispered, kissing him again.

  They lay in silence for another moment as their breathing regulated, and then Patrick’s lips twitched into a grin. “So… how is it that I ended up with the mess on me again?”

  Chance laughed. “I have no idea.”

  “I mean… you topped, I got the mess. I topped, I got the mess.” He shook his head, but then he started laughing, unable to keep a straight face. Chance lost it too, laughing harder than ever.

  They were still laughing when the phone rang a moment later. Patrick rolled to see who’d be calling so early and saw Emily’s number. Still chuckling, he answered. “Hello.”