No Sacrifice Read online

  Chance nodded. “I think we can manage that. Come on, baby. I need you.”

  “Good. ’Cause I need you too, after today.” Patrick took Chance’s hand and backed up to the bed. With a grin they landed in a pile. And promptly forgot about everything else for a while.

  Chapter 22

  Patrick watched the dust motes dance in the shafts of early-morning sunlight that drifted down through the skylight. Partners. He didn’t know what had spurred him to do that except for the fact that he hadn’t liked seeing Chance struggle, and especially not in front of the rest of the family.

  It floored him that he was the first person Chance had brought home. It really came home to him then, how serious Chance was about him. How much he meant to the man. And it felt good.

  It also scared the ever-loving shit out of him.

  He couldn’t forget the fact that he’d fucked up—royally, in his not-so-humble opinion—with Emily. He still felt responsible for the greater part of the breakup of their marriage. And he still thought rushing into living with her had been a huge portion of what started things the wrong way.

  In his clearer, less self-deprecating moments, he could admit he and Chance were worlds apart from what he’d done with Emily. It was true that Chance had stayed the night after their first date and never really went back to his own apartment. But they’d been friends for a long time before that happened, and it just felt very different than it did when he and Emily got together.

  Most of the time, however, he wasn’t thinking clearly, and the fear of screwing up was a constant thought in the back of his mind. The man currently curled around him meant more to him than anyone else ever had—save Avery. And Patrick was simultaneously scared of losing him… and scared of keeping him, thus delaying the day of fucking up.

  Patrick shook the thoughts off and carefully leaned over to retrieve his phone from his bedside table. He unlocked it and touched the little “f” icon on his main screen. It took him a few moments to find it, but after digging through more than a few menu options, he finally found the spot for “relationship.” He touched the relationship link, then frowned over the options. Some of them were easy. They weren’t married, engaged, separated, or divorced. He wasn’t a widow.

  But what were they? Were they “In a relationship” or “In a domestic partnership”? Would Chance even want that? He chewed on his lip as he thought it over, mindlessly flicking his finger up and down on the screen. He finally selected the domestic partnership option, then typed in Chance’s name and skipped the rest, then hit “save.”

  “You didn’t have to do that,” Chance whispered, kissing Patrick’s ear.

  Patrick looked over his shoulder. “Does it bother you?”

  “Oh, hell no.” Chance shook his head. “But… your family’s going to see that, you know.”

  “Fuck,” Patrick bit off.

  “I’ll decline it. We’ll find a time to tell them directly before we make it ‘Facebook official.’ But… it makes me feel good that you wanted to.”

  Patrick closed his eyes and swallowed. He had no idea how or even if he could tell his family about Chance. The explosion over the simple possibility of him being bi had been insane, and that was only two siblings. The thought of what they would say and do if he told them that not only were he and Chance boyfriends but they were also living together… yeah. They’d see the fireworks all the way in California over that. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  “Shh. Mama’s not going to care about the Facebook thing. Neither is Vannah. And even if Gareth is on there—though I never see him—I don’t give a rat’s ass what he’d say. Or think.”

  Patrick turned around and buried his face in Chance’s scent. “God, I love you.”

  Chance’s arms tightened around him, and Chance kissed the top of his head. “I love you too, baby. You know…,” he started, and Patrick looked up. “There’s something you could do.”

  Patrick raised his eyebrows. “Anything.”

  Chance grinned. “Now that’s a dangerous promise.” Patrick laughed. “Why don’t we go get tested together when we get home?”

  Patrick blinked up at him for a long moment, completely thrown off. “Tested?” He shook his head, frowning in thought.

  “Yes.” Chance smiled again. “Tested. To make sure we’re disease-free. I’m pretty sure I already know the answer for both of us, based on both of our histories—though even that isn’t a guarantee—but….” He shrugged a shoulder. “We do it right, we could lose the latex.”

  Finally it dawned on Patrick what Chance was talking about. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts. “Oh! I…. Of course I would! It just…. It never occurred to me.”

  “I kind of figured that.” He chuckled.

  “Yeah. Last time I used them, it was with Em. And it was all about pregnancy then. Then she got fixed and….” He shrugged. “I guess I just never thought about what it would mean, you know?”

  Chance nodded. “I can see that. It’s a little different over here in gay relationships.”

  “No doubt. Well. Uh, we’ll… go as soon as we can.” He paused and frowned, sighing. He’d gotten over being worried about his ignorance of all things gay for the most part, but this was yet another thing he was clueless about.

  “Hey. Don’t worry about it,” Chance said, obviously reading him correctly. “I’ve been living this for as long as I’ve understood what it was to like someone. And after Doug….” He shrugged one shoulder, but he didn’t need to finish it.

  Patrick would likely never forget that night at Sophia’s as long as he lived. He leaned in and left a soft kiss on Chance’s chest. “Yeah. I remember. You’ll just have to tell me what to expect.”

  Chance smiled and kissed him. “Nothing too scary.”

  They lay in silence for a long moment, letting the idea settle. Patrick found he really wanted to do something like this, maybe as a way to show Chance how much he did want with the man, how much he loved.

  “So,” Chance murmured, dropping another kiss on Patrick. “What’s that I feel against my leg?” He rocked against Patrick, grinding against Patrick’s hard cock.

  Patrick grinned. “The same thing I feel against mine.”

  “Oh, well, we can’t leave like this. It would be rather uncomfortable.”

  “Yes,” Patrick agreed. “We’d also look pretty bad to everyone else downstairs. Sticking out everywhere.”

  Chance snickered. “Definitely don’t want to show your monster cock to the rest of the house.”

  Patrick shook his head. “It is not a monster cock.”

  “Says you.” Chance laughed too. “Now, what to do….”

  “I think I have an idea.” Patrick grinned, kissed Chance thoroughly, then slid down under the covers.

  “Oh God…,” Chance whispered. A moment later, he wasn’t even capable of that.

  When they finally got downstairs and stepped into the kitchen, Patrick saw a man he hadn’t met yet sitting at the table. He guessed, based on the dark hair and eyes, this was Darcy. Before he could introduce himself, Chance went over to the stove instead and kissed his mom good morning.

  Violet gave Patrick a look. “Aren’t you going to kiss me good morning too?”

  Patrick, bemused, stepped over and left a kiss on Violet’s cheek as well. “Uh, good morning,” he managed, glaring at Chance’s smirk.

  “Morning, honey. I’m not cookin’ breakfast this morning.” She tilted her head toward the coffee counter. “We keep it light.”

  “I told you she’d consider you a son,” Chance murmured when Patrick joined him at the coffeemaker and noticed the big box.

  Patrick shook his head. “It’s still a little… I don’t know. Weird. My mom is welcoming enough, and… my friends called her “Mama,” but… I don’t know.”

  Chance nodded. “My mama’s pretty unique.” He finished stirring the mug in front of him and handed it to Patrick.

  Patrick laughed. “Thank you. I… can totally agre
e with that.” He finally peered into the box at a pile of donuts and bagels. “Oh God, I love her.”

  Chance laughed. “Hear that, Mama? You’ve won Patrick’s heart.”

  Violet laughed. “What did it?”

  “Donuts. They’re a weakness.”

  “Noted. I’ll just have to keep them around.”

  Patrick blushed bright red around the bite of donut he’d already taken.

  Chance laughed and kissed him, then dug a donut out for himself.

  Patrick awkwardly swallowed the bite, then took a sip of his coffee to try to recover and turned around. “Oh, uh….”

  “Oh! Sorry,” Chance murmured, then stepped forward. “Darcy, good to see you.” He shook Darcy’s hand, then turned to Patrick. “Darcy, this is Patrick Tearney, my….” He hesitated briefly, glancing at Patrick, who smiled and nodded. “My partner. Patrick, Darcy Cavannaugh.”

  Darcy leaned forward, offering his hand, which Patrick was grateful for. One homophobic asshole per family was enough to deal with. They shook, and Patrick and Chance took seats next to each other at the ancient Formica-topped metal table.

  Before Patrick could do any more, a small plate was set in front of him with another donut. He looked up to see Violet smiling at him.

  “I like to take care of my boys. Now eat up. You’re too skinny.”

  Patrick laughed. “Thank you… Mama.” He wasn’t sure if he should feel good that she cared or offended that she thought he was skinny. He settled for feeling good and watched as she nodded and turned back to the stove to stir something that smelled amazing.

  “Ooo! Donut!” Avery shouted, launching himself into his father’s lap. “Can I have one, Da?” He looked up, his big blue eyes pleading. Patrick was about to give in when Violet saved him.

  “Ah, ah, ah!” Violet said, tugging a blond curl. “You’ve already had two. Leave your da’s alone.”

  Avery pouted.

  “Oh, no, Squirt, none of that,” Chance said, leaning over and bopping Avery on the nose. “Do you want chocolate milk with dinner later?”

  Suddenly his little face cleared and he nodded. “Yes, please, Chance!”

  “Then listen to Gramma and Chance,” Patrick said, and Avery sighed.

  “Okay, Da.” And then, just like that, he brightened. “I saw the coolest thing on TV! There was a really big Snoopy! And Garfield! And Papa Smurf and Dora and Scooby and Buzz Lightyear! And—”

  “Av-ey!” Rory shouted, running full speed into the kitchen. “Av-ey! Gotta see! Frog!”

  “Frog?” Avery asked, turning around to look at the little girl.

  She nodded her blonde head very fast. “Yes! A big one!”

  Avery wiggled out of Patrick’s lap, and Patrick watched as they ran together to the living room. He shook his head and turned to the table as Violet went back to the stove.

  “They seem to be getting along really well,” Darcy said, smiling.

  Patrick nodded. “It looks like it.” He chuckled. “So, Darcy—”

  “Da! Chance!” Avery came running into the kitchen again, straight for Chance’s chair this time, and climbed into Chance’s lap. “It was a big frog! Big as a building!” His eyes were huge in his chubby-cheeked face as he bounced in excitement on Chance’s legs. “Can I have a frog that big?”

  “Uh,” Chance said, looking a little panicked at Patrick.

  “I don’t think it’d fit in our home, Stinker.”

  “Oh.” Avery frowned, thinking undoubtedly about how to make it fit.

  “How about,” Chance said, drawing his attention, “we find a big poster or something and put it on your wall.”

  “Okay!” Avery agreed, and that was that. “Thank you, Chance! Love you!” He threw his arms about Chance’s neck, and Patrick grinned at the vision. Then Avery let go, wiggled down, and started from the room.

  “Hey, doesn’t your da get a hug too?” Patrick asked.

  “Oh, yeah!” Avery came back, threw his arms quickly around Patrick’s waist, then was gone again.

  Patrick chuckled and glanced at Chance. “I think I’ve been replaced.”

  Chance snorted. “Not hardly.”

  “There’s plenty of room in that boy’s heart for both of his daddies,” Violet scolded, thwacking Patrick on the shoulder with an oven mitt. “Now, I need some help. I’ve got nearly twice the people this year than I’m used to. Chance, get the linens down—you and Patrick can start setting up the table. Then get the candlesticks and make sure they’re polished. Darcy, get your wife and help me get some of the oven reorganized.”

  “Yes, ma’am…. Mama… ma’am,” Patrick stuttered, making Chance laugh. He stuffed the last part of his second donut in his mouth and got up, throwing a glare at Chance.

  But Violet leaned in and kissed him on the cheek then, effectively diffusing him. “Thank you. Off you go!”

  Patrick and Chance took over the couch, stretched out with Chance wrapped around Patrick. Gareth snored loudly on the recliner. Vannah and Darcy made the loveseat work somehow, and both dozed. The three kids made a sleepy dog pile on a bunch of pillows and cushions in the middle of the room, and Chance’s grandmother, Scarlett, knitted furiously at something from a rocking chair. Violet claimed the need for a bit of quiet and currently had her nose buried in a book at the kitchen table.

  The last few minutes of the Packers soundly trouncing the Lions played on the almost-silent television. Patrick tried desperately to stay awake, but the sweet siren call of sleep was a hard thing to ignore, though Chance promised it would be worth it. The Falcons kicked off in less than half an hour, and watching Vannah watch football was supposed to be more entertaining than the game itself.

  The full stomach Patrick had wasn’t helping things. When they sat down to eat, Patrick’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He was used to a big spread—Hawai’ians certainly love their food—but there seemed to be even more for the number of people than Patrick had expected. And, of course, the food was very different than what he was used to. Traditional Thanksgiving at home had the same turkey and ham that was on the table. He also recognized a sweet-potato-casserole-type dish similar to home. But unlike Hawai’i, which usually also included sushi, salmon, poke, and rice, there was some kind of cornbread dressing, gravy, green beans in a casserole, greens that looked… interesting, creamed corn, and rolls. And that was before he even got to the dessert plates, which were currently set up on the antique sideboard and included the traditional pumpkin, pecan, and apple pies.

  He had, in short, eaten way too much.

  When Chance’s grandmother had arrived, Patrick had another few tense moments, not sure what to expect. But Scarlett Jackson had a sweet side to her as well. She’d greeted Patrick warmly, told him she was glad Chance found someone and that Patrick was to call her “Gramma,” then turned her attention to her newest great-grandchild. She’d immediately claimed Avery and had him and Zack running around for her, occupying them completely. In the meantime Rory was serving tea in pretend cups and discussing the difficulties of having boys around.

  Once they’d settled in at the table, however, Scarlett turned her attention to Patrick. He’d had to go through another round of discussion about his show and job that he hadn’t really minded at first. But when she mentioned she’d watched a couple of episodes and noted how steamy they were, he’d blushed profusely. Because he suspected one of those episodes was the one he’d filmed with Angelo. Which meant his new grandmother had seen him completely naked and—when he realized this, he wanted to sink through the floor entirely—midorgasm. However, she didn’t mention any of that, just said she thought he was a good actor and moved on to asking Chance about his latest songs.

  The rest of dinner was the typical chaos Patrick was used to. Kids talking and parents trying to get them to eat—including his and Chance’s attempts with Avery—dishes clanking, food being passed, and all the minor conversations that went with it. That was something Patrick knew well, and it reminded him of many famil
y dinners back home.

  Which gave him pause again, making him wish it hadn’t brought the memories up. He’d gone in and undone the relationship change he’d posted, then further deleted the posts that showed up on Facebook. And as he had, there had been a real stab at having to do it. He’d found himself very tempted to leave it in place and damn the consequences. But in the end, he hadn’t. The posts were gone, his relationship “single,” and that was going to be enough.

  Aside from the rough spot over his own family, Patrick had thoroughly loved being part of Chance’s. Even Gareth seemed to keep most of his attitude to himself. He’d taken a seat about as far as possible from Patrick and Chance, which Patrick hadn’t minded one bit. And the worst they got from him had been less-than-positive sideways looks.

  So the overall acceptance Patrick had felt—both for him as a person, as well as his relationship with Chance—had really made him feel good. The kisses he and Chance had shared had only brought smiles to all but Gareth. Chance’s parenting of Avery had just seemed natural, and all it did was cement for Patrick how much he wanted this man in his life.

  He stirred now, looking up into his boyfriend’s gorgeous face.

  “What?” Chance tilted his head.

  Patrick shook his head. “Nothing really. Just… thinking about how lucky I am.”

  “Ugh. You two need to get a room,” Vannah grumbled.

  Patrick and Chance laughed. “Aww, what’s wrong, Sis? Not as happy with Darcy?”

  Darcy snorted, and Vannah, in an example of just how mature she was, stuck her tongue out. “That’s not it at all. You’ll get in the way of the game.”

  Chance chuckled. “Wouldn’t want that. Pure tragedy to interrupt the game.”

  Darcy laughed, earning himself an elbow to the gut. “Sorry, dear. Sorry!”

  Vannah glared at him, but he just kissed her. When he let her go, she punched him in the arm, but Patrick didn’t miss the smile. “Toss me the remote. Time for the game.”