No Sacrifice Read online

  “I’ll be—”

  “Don’t you dare tell me you’ll be fine, Patrick Aeden. Get your ass in the house.”

  “Yes, Mama,” Patrick said meekly, following Violet through the door. She bustled into the kitchen, but all three of them stopped at the mess in front of them. Vannah was standing in front of the telephone, arms crossed, face red, with Darcy next to her, scowling at Gareth, who was still bleeding.

  “I said, let be hab de bone!”

  “And I said no, Gareth! You are not callin’ the cops on him! You deserved it!”

  “What’s going on here?” Violet asked sharply.

  Gareth turned to her. “Baba! I deed to call de cobs. He bro’e by dose!” Half of his words were garbled from the swelling of his nose, but they were clear enough.

  “Sounds like you earned it. I didn’t teach you to behave like you’ve been, Gareth, and if you can’t be nice to Chance and his partner, I won’t stop them from giving you what you deserve. You’re not using my phone to call the cops, and if you go somewhere else, when they get here, I’ll tell them they’re at the wrong house.” She stood with her hands on her hips, face red and fire spitting from her blue eyes.

  Gareth’s own blue eyes widened. “But… Baba!”

  “Don’t you ‘but Mama’ me! You have turned into an asshole, Gareth Lee, and I will not put up with it! Not in my house! Get some ice for that nose, stop bleeding on my kitchen floor, and shut up. Or get out of here.” With that, she turned and pulled open the freezer. She grabbed two ice trays, shoved one at Gareth, and took the other over to the sink and dumped it into a kitchen towel. “Patrick, sit,” she ordered, and Patrick didn’t even consider disobeying her. She brought the towel over and set it on his hand, then hurried back to the sink and opened a cabinet.

  Gareth stood there for a full minute, staring at his mother as if he’d never seen her before. He scowled, snatched the towel off the refrigerator, and dumped his own ice into it before disappearing out the back door.

  Patrick met Chance’s eyes, apology in them, but Chance just shook his head and sat next to Patrick at the table, helping to hold the ice.

  Violet came back with a bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water, then sat on his other side. “Vannah, go check on Mama and the kids, please? Darcy, keep an eye on Gareth for me.” The two dispersed, and Violet turned back to Patrick. “I’m sorry for my son—my other son,” she said, shaking her head. “He’s been a handful most of his life.”

  “You’ve got nothing to apologize for,” Patrick said, after taking the pills she handed him and swallowing them. “You’re a good mother. Vannah and Chance are great people.”

  Violet gave him a piercing look. “Thank you. I’m sorry that the weekend ended like this.”

  Patrick shook his head. “Really. I should have kept my cool. But… hey, I get to be a hero for my partner.” He winked at her, and she shook her head, but he caught her small smile.

  Chance leaned in then and kissed his cheek. “I am not going to faint for you.”

  Patrick laughed. “Good. I don’t think I could catch you like I can your sister.”

  Chance grinned. “I’d like to see that.”

  “I wouldn’t. There’s enough blood on the floor now,” Violet said, standing up. She checked Patrick’s hand. “Keep that on until you get to the airport. They won’t let it through security, but you should be okay by then.”

  “Da! Are you okay?” Avery asked, running into the room and looking at the ice pack.

  Patrick nodded. “Yup. I’m fine. Did you say good-bye to Nana, Zack, and Rory?”

  Avery nodded. “Yes. Do we have to go now?”

  “I’m afraid so, Squirt. Hug Gramma, Aunt Vannah, and Uncle Darcy, then we have to get going.” Chance ruffled his hair.

  “Okay,” Avery sighed.

  After one more last flurry of good-byes, they finally were in the car on the way to the airport. Patrick had seen Gareth glaring at them from the side of the house, and despite himself, he couldn’t help but feel good at the dark purple marks forming around Gareth’s nose. But he didn’t like the look in Gareth’s eyes, and Patrick hoped he just didn’t make life worse for Chance somehow.

  Chapter 23

  Patrick laid his head back against the leather airplane seat and closed his eyes, giving in to the exhaustion. Chance kissed his hand and, without opening his eyes, Patrick returned it, then dropped their hands and let them rest in Chance’s lap. The past few days had been a whirlwind of last-minute packing and running around. Patrick wanted to get annoyed with himself for leaving that stuff for the last minute, but there really hadn’t been time before to do it.

  In the few weeks since they’d returned from Atlanta, they’d spent most of their days very late on set, Jack in an unexplainable foul mood. Patrick had been grateful enough for the relatively simple scenes. Most of it had been action or political intrigue, with the exception of a single kissing scene with Angelo—which Patrick had been relieved to not react to. Rhys was still as clingy as ever for the scenes they did together, but Patrick was too tired and distracted by the rest of things to worry about it too much. In the little bit of free time they’d had, they’d crammed their normal chores—like groceries and laundry—in with a bunch of other things.

  And getting Avery ready to visit Emily. Patrick already missed his son, even though Emily had only picked Avery up the day before. Both Patrick and Chance had hugged and kissed Avery so much, he’d gotten annoyed and finally told them he’d see them again soon. Emily, however, understood well and didn’t say much as they said their good-byes. Patrick thought he’d been looking forward to the break, but after he and Chance got home and took advantage of the empty apartment, they’d both talked about missing Avery already. They’d consoled each other, saying it would only be a couple of weeks and then they’d have him back. Then they took advantage of the empty place one more time before falling into bed.

  They’d also gone for the testing. Chance dug around—and apparently it had taken quite a bit of digging—and finally found a clinic that would allow them to be tested and given their results together. Apparently, that was still a new enough thing to be pretty rare. Patrick was quite glad Chance had looked so hard, though. He hadn’t been too keen on the idea of going by himself for it.

  The test itself had been nothing. A simple finger prick and blood collection took care of that. They’d also swabbed his mouth for other STD tests. Then they’d waited.

  The rapid HIV test had only taken about twenty minutes, but though Patrick was pretty sure he had nothing to worry about, it was still twenty of the most nerve-wracking minutes of his life. He hadn’t exactly been the most promiscuous person when he’d been in high school. He hadn’t been a saint, of course, but he hadn’t dated all that many people. That hadn’t changed in college, and his sophomore year, he’d met Emily, who he’d been faithful to, despite their problems.

  Unless you counted masturbating to mental images of your naked male costar.

  But despite his history, or lack thereof, being surrounded by posters about all the different sexually transmitted diseases still made him feel a bit like he had something to worry about. So he’d been very grateful for Chance’s presence, hand-holding, and positive attitude.

  They’d finally been called back, and when the counselor gave them two negative results, Patrick felt the tension drain. He’d barely registered the suggestion that they return in three months for a follow-up test to be sure, but finally paid attention when the counselor asked them how they planned to handle sex outside of their relationship. He’d given Chance a puzzled look, which his partner had responded to with an I’ll tell you later expression, and then they proceeded to assure the counselor that neither had any intention or interest in going outside of their relationship, especially when it came to sex. Patrick tried not to think about the two scenes he’d done, and it was only by reminding himself that he’d sworn to never do anything like that again that he’d managed to put the thoughts awa
y.

  They’d celebrated the results by moving the rest of Chance’s clothes into Patrick’s apartment. On their one day off that week, Sebastian and Angelo had come over to help move the chest of drawers, piano, TV, and other bigger things Chance was keeping. They’d left the couch, bed, and table and chairs, since Patrick’s were nicer.

  It felt good to see Chance’s piano in a more permanent place in the corner of the dining room, next to the small desk and guitar stands. He liked opening the closet and seeing Chance’s clothes hanging permanently next to his. And the electric razor having its own official place on the bathroom counter had left him standing with a silly grin on his face for a full minute before Chance called him to help with something.

  The only mar on the whole thing was when they’d talked to the office about getting Chance out of his lease. The manager had been adamant, even though he’d been there two years already, that he either pay off the balance of the lease or keep the apartment. After a bit of number juggling, they’d decided it was just cheaper to keep paying the monthly rent and not renew when the time came. But the idea bothered Patrick in a weird, contradictory way.

  On one hand, when he screwed up, if it happened before the lease was up, at least Chance would have somewhere to go. Because Patrick was still sure he’d fuck up at some point. He still hadn’t been able to let go of that thought.

  On the other hand, having that apartment there felt almost like the universe was mocking him, insisting he was right and it would be needed. That he would, in fact, screw up royally, and Chance would have to move back. He couldn’t quite figure out if they’d be tempting fate by getting rid of it, or if they were making it easier on Patrick to fuck up because he knew Chance would be okay.

  He sighed, and Chance lifted his hand, kissing it again. “What’s wrong, baby?” Chance whispered in his ear.

  Patrick turned his head and opened his eyes, getting momentarily lost in the beautiful blue of his partner. He took a moment to think through his words, putting his annoying fears away and focusing on a more immediate problem. “I want to apologize right now for the shit that we’re about to go through. I… I shouldn’t have dragged you with me, shouldn’t have even asked.” He shook his head, frowning. “I should tell them first, let them get used to it, and wait to bring you over until I can do it right, introduce you as who you really are.”

  “Aww, baby,” Chance murmured, leaning forward and kissing Patrick’s forehead. “It’s okay. Look, I understand very well what it is to have to be in the closet.”

  “Yeah, but your mama accepted you. I don’t think mine will. I dunno. I don’t think they’ll, like, disown me like Doug’s family did, but….” He let it go, knowing Chance understood.

  “But you don’t think they’ll accept us, either.” Chance nodded. “Here’s the thing, though. I’d rather be able to spend Christmas with you—even if we have to hide who we are to each other—than be thousands of miles apart for it. And without explaining me, there’d be no reason for you to stay back in LA.”

  Patrick frowned again, then nodded. “Yeah. You’re right. I wish… I wish I could, though, you know? Just… just forget about it and have stayed home. Or walk in the door holding hands and say ‘Mama, this is my partner, Chance. We’re living together. I love him.’ And have that be that. But…. God, they went ballistic when I just said I was separating from Em.” He shook his head. “I’ve got to tell them we’re divorced, that she’s remarried, and to a woman, and that I love you, a man, and want—” He cut himself off, not quite ready to say out loud what he’d been thinking. Want to propose.

  Thankfully, Chance didn’t seem to catch it. He kissed Patrick’s forehead again. “Relax. We’ll figure it out. Maybe not now, maybe not even soon, but we will, eventually. I love you, you love me. That’s what matters, right?”

  Patrick considered Chance for a long moment, finally nodding slowly. “Yeah, it is.” He still didn’t like how unfair it was. He’d gone to Chance’s family as a boyfriend and then a partner. And all Chance could be was “best friend.” “I’m still sorry. We won’t be able to hold hands or kiss. Hell, we may not even be able to sleep in the same room. I don’t know.”

  “We can handle it, baby. We’ll sneak it in where we can. We can pretend we’re teenagers again, hiding under the bleachers at school.” Chance grinned.

  Patrick laughed. “Right. Well, that’d be a first for me.”

  “Me too.” Chance kissed him again. “Now, let’s enjoy these wonderful first-class seats you got me for Christmas—thank you again—and get as much in as we can before we get there.” He handed Patrick one of the glasses of mixed fruity drink they’d been given right after they were seated and held up his own. “To love and—” He glanced around, then leaned in to Patrick’s ear. “—and maybe to joining the mile-high club.”

  Patrick grinned and held up his glass. “Hear! Hear!” They clinked and downed the ridiculously sweet drink. “I might need a couple more of those before I can do that, though.”

  Chance laughed.

  They did, in fact, manage to join the club, and Patrick couldn’t help but think everyone knew exactly what they’d done when they’d both ended up in the bathroom at the same time. It was very likely only his imagination, and no one was really looking at him when they went back to their seats. In the end, he decided he didn’t care one bit when they settled back and he got a thorough thank-you kiss and a glimpse of Chance’s very satisfied face. Even if his ass was slightly sore.

  Honolulu airport made Patrick long for the only-somewhat-chaotic Hartsfield-Jackson back in Atlanta. Patrick wished they’d been able to fly in sooner to avoid some of the traffic, but the shooting schedule and Avery’s flight to Vancouver had prevented that. It really was a good thing, though, since he already missed touching Chance. He didn’t dare in the airport—there was too much chance a cousin or someone who knew his family would be there somewhere. So, despite the traffic, it was the best day to come in. The extra few days would have only been miserable.

  After fighting with baggage claim and the car rental place, they finally managed to get on the road. This time, Patrick’s nerves were a little too taut for him to be able to enjoy the trip very much. He found himself wishing he’d been able to drink a bit more, because he was going more than a little crazy. Without Chance’s hand on him, he’d probably be freaking out completely.

  The trip through the mountains and down into Kane’ohe took entirely too little time. He pointed out what he could to Chance to distract himself, but it didn’t help much. Before he was ready for it, he was making the last turn into his parents’ driveway and turning the car off. He barely noticed the candles in each window and the house and trees covered in lights.

  “Okay, uh….” He had no idea what to say. “I….” He stopped and swallowed. He settled on saying, “I’m sorry,” hoping it would cover pretty much everything. Then he took a chance no one was looking, leaned over, and kissed his lover one more time.

  As he approached the door, he took a deep breath, threw one more glance at Chance—who gave him an encouraging smile in return—then opened the front door.

  “Patrick!” his mama shouted. Then before he could even look around, he was being hugged hard. Somehow, something that normally comforted him and made him feel a lot better… didn’t. Between being a little surprised by the reception—Mama had been nice enough over the phone, but Patrick was afraid she was still upset over his news in the summer—and his nerves, he couldn’t feel as good as he usually did from her hugs. He forced himself to return the hug and plaster a smile onto his face when they pulled apart. “Oh, it’s so good to see you! I’m so happy you’re home.” She stepped back and looked over at Chance. “And this must be Chance.”

  Chance stepped forward and offered his hand.

  Patrick shook himself out of his stupor and managed to make introductions. “Chance, my mama, uh, Kalea Tearney. Mama, this is my best friend, Chance.”

  “Welcome!” Mama leaned i
n and wrapped a slightly stunned Chance up in a hug. “Call me Mama, everyone else does. And I mean everyone, even Patrick’s da.” She chuckled, sending an amused glance at the man in question, who whistled and looked away. “It’s nice to meet you. We’ve heard a lot about you.” She took Chance’s arm before Patrick could introduce his da, turning toward the living room. Patrick gave a bemused shrug in response to the semipanicked look Chance shot Patrick as he was led away.

  “Patrick!” Tutu called, thumping across the living room with her cane.

  Patrick turned his attention to the one person out of everyone he’d been most looking forward to seeing. “Tutu.” It came out more relieved than he’d meant it to, but no one except Tutu seemed to notice.

  After a long hug, Tutu pulled back and looked him over critically. “Don’t worry so,” she said, shaking her head. “It’ll be fine.”

  Patrick wondered, not for the first time in his life, if the woman didn’t have some kind of mind-reading abilities. He blinked at her briefly. “Okay,” he muttered, but she just smiled and pushed him toward his father.

  After more hugs with his da, Quinn, Alana, and Devin, who were all staying home this year, they settled in to talk about the flight and trip. He finally got a chance to look at the tree—done up like it normally was, though he could swear it was even bigger than it’d been last year. His mother had a thing for trying to get a bigger tree every year than the one before, and he wondered if she wouldn’t eventually need his father to cut a hole in the roof to make room for it. The live evergreen boughs held many of the same flowers, seashells, starfish, and hand-made child’s ornaments that it usually did. Deep red and bright gold ribbons wove through the branches and around the tree all the way to the floor, and the same huge red bow he remembered from his childhood topped the pine monstrosity. He loved it.