Patience Read online

Page 8


  “Hi, Chad.”

  “Jamie! Did you find a good phone?”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty happy with it. Pretty basic Android.”

  “Good. I’ll save your number when we hang up. So….”

  Jamie’s voice came across sounding a little shaky. “I figured I’d, um, call tomorrow sometime, maybe? See if we could—”

  Chad frowned. “Why tomorrow?”

  Silence. “What?”

  “Why tomorrow?” Chad asked again.

  “Um, well… I thought you’d probably want to get your work done and stuff and—”

  “Well, I thought we might go out to get a bite to eat. It’s a little late to cook.”

  “Eat?” Jamie asked.

  Chad laughed. “Yeah, eat. You know, food?”

  “You… want to go out with me?”

  “I want to do more than go out, but I thought a date—however simple—might be a good way to start.”

  “A…. You want to go on a date?”

  Chad scowled, though he knew Jamie couldn’t see. “Yeah. Why? Don’t you want to go out with me?” Maybe it was some sort of mate thing. Maybe they didn’t date?

  “No! I mean, yes, of course I do. I just… didn’t expect it.”

  Chad relaxed. “Well, I do. So, I’m at the apartment. I’ve got a spot behind the building I don’t use. Why don’t you drive here so we can leave your car and go in mine?”

  “Okay. I’d like that,” Jamie replied quietly.

  “Good. See you in a few.”

  “See you,” Jamie said, then disconnected the call.

  Chad took a moment to create a new address book entry, labeling it My Mate, then laughed at himself as he did. He kept it like that, though, saved the number, and stuffed the phone back in his pocket. Maybe he was being silly, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to have someone jump out and say, “Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera!” or something. Jamie was real, the shifters were real, and as confusing as it was, Chad was pretty damned positive the pull he felt was real and not all about the mate thing. He liked Jamie, he liked the bond they had, and he wanted to see where it went.

  He’d been through shit before and come out the other side of it. His mother had told him more times than he could count that it’d been for a reason, that there was something else out there. Maybe this was it? He didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to get to know and, maybe, be with someone like Jamie.

  As he was putting away the last of the groceries, he heard a knock. He went to the door and peered through the peephole to see Jamie in the hall. Chad grinned when he opened it. “Hi.”

  Jamie blushed a little. “Hi. Uh, I didn’t think I’d be going on a date or anything.” He looked down at himself.

  Chad tugged him into the apartment. “We’ll keep it simple. Uncle Sam’s or The O or something?”

  Jamie seemed to relax and smiled. “Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe Dave and Andy’s after?”

  Chad grinned. “Definitely. Oh, where did you park?”

  “On the street. On Centre. I didn’t know where the lot was.”

  “Right. Go down to Bigelow and turn right. There’s a white building next door. The alley leading to the lot is right past it. You can park in any open spot. I don’t like to because I get parked in now and again, but it should keep your car safe. No one will bother it.”

  Jamie nodded. “Okay. I’ll be right back.” He started to turn.

  “Good. Oh, Jamie?”

  Jamie looked back at him.

  Chad pulled him in and kissed him. He kept it short but made it hard, trying to show Jamie how interested he was.

  Jamie pulled back, looking a little bemused. He cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah.” He blinked, but as he turned away, Chad saw a grin.

  Chapter 7

  JAMIE WAS more than a little shocked. He was having a hard time believing how readily Chad had accepted the concept of shifters and mates. And that he was the mate of a shifter.

  Jamie was afraid to believe it. He’d gotten his hopes up before when it came to a mate and that had been disastrous. He’d been relegated to best friend. And while he hadn’t loved Finley, it’d still hurt. Yeah, Finley hadn’t been his destined mate, but still. The fear was definitely there. Especially since that hadn’t been the first time he’d been soundly rejected. The pain of losing his family over his orientation still hadn’t faded. He doubted it ever really would.

  Yeah, so, he couldn’t help being worried. The drive back, after seeing Tanner and Finley together again, had brought all those fears back. So the closer they got to Oakland, the more he’d thought he should take a step back and give Chad some breathing room. He was afraid if he pushed, when the newness wore off, Chad would end up freaking out and rejecting him completely.

  After pulling into a spot in the corner of the little lot behind Chad’s building, Jamie turned off the car. He took a moment to breathe deeply and try to get his emotions into some reasonable sense of order. He didn’t need to be an emotional mess when he got back to Chad, knowing his mate would feel it.

  With a final breath, he climbed out of the car and went in the door leading from the parking lot. It took him a moment to find his way back to the main hall, but eventually he made his way through the labyrinth of corridors in the old building and to Chad’s door once again. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and knocked.

  The smile Chad greeted him with did all sorts of weird things to his insides. He wanted so badly to believe things would work out. But what if it didn’t? Then he’d miss that smile all the more.

  It also warmed him. Chad seemed genuinely glad to see him.

  “All right, then. How about that dinner?”

  Jamie stepped back and waited for Chad to lock the door. When he turned, before Jamie could even take a step, Chad took his hand and threaded their fingers. They didn’t speak on the way out to the car, and Jamie was surprised again when Chad opened his door for him. “You… didn’t need to do that.”

  Chad shrugged a shoulder. “We’re on a date, right?”

  Jamie blinked but nodded. “Yeah.”

  “So, I can open the door for you, since I asked.” He gave a crooked little grin, kissed Jamie quickly on the lips, then stepped back.

  Jamie slipped into the car and tried to think of something not inane to say as Chad went around to get in on his side.

  Chad beat him to it. “So, I realized that, as a Pitt student, you’re probably sick of The O or Uncle Sam’s.”

  “Not really. I didn’t actually eat at either place all that much. I tended to stick to on-campus places because I had a meal plan.”

  “Ah, that makes sense. So you’re good with them?”

  Jamie nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine. How about The O?”

  “Excellent. Been a while since I’ve been there.” Chad pulled into traffic and made his turn. As soon as he did, he reached over and took Jamie’s hand.

  Jamie blinked down at it for a moment, then closed his hand around Chad’s, savoring the feel of it.

  “You know, I once had a boyfriend—briefly, he didn’t last long—who hated holding hands. Drove me nuts.”

  “Why wouldn’t he like to hold hands?” Jamie asked.

  Chad shook his head. “I never did figure it out. I suspect he was still more or less in the closet, but I don’t know.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I was still somewhat in the closet back then. My mom knew, but I was still on the force and hadn’t been open at work.”

  “I can only imagine. It’s the one thing that worries me after I’m out of school.”

  Chad frowned. “They’re not tolerant here, that’s for damned sure.”

  The bitterness in Chad’s voice pricked at Jamie. “What happened?” he asked softly.

  Chad kissed his hand, then let go of it as he made another turn. “There’s… a lot of corruption in the Pittsburgh Police Department. I tried not to let it get to me, but during one investigation, I couldn’t let it go because the
evidence was compromised. I knew who did it—some asshole upper-level guy in one of the big corporations—but he’d paid the mayor and the chief, and the evidence disappeared. It irked me, and I called in IA. Except… IA didn’t want anything to do with it either. In the end they decided to put me under suspicion.”

  Jamie winced. “That’s bullshit.”

  “Yeah,” Chad agreed. He turned off Fifth and into the parking lot near The O. “It is. So they put me under suspicion, which had me watched. Only, I didn’t know it at first. So when I went in to Donny’s in Lawrenceville—probably the best place for cruising, if you didn’t know—it came out. And I was outed.”

  “Shit.” Jamie shook his head. “That’s total shit. What—”

  “Yeah, well, they’re assholes,” Chad said, staring through the windshield. “My own partner was homophobic. It became pretty clear fast that I didn’t know who I could trust. I mean, how can I go into a firefight if I can’t even be sure my partner’s got my back, right?”

  Jamie swallowed, his heart pounding. The thought that he might have never even met Chad—much less had the chance to form their bond—all because of homophobia, freaked him out more than a little. He took a breath and reached out, brushing a thumb over Chad’s cheek. “I’m really glad you got out.”

  “Well, I was pissed and depressed, but I didn’t have a death wish. I’m still not positive who I can trust. It’s one reason I still carry the Beretta. Well, that and some of the contacts I deal with are… less than respectable. Like Panther, who I’d met—well, sort of—during an investigation. He put me in contact with my first private job. I kind of owe him one.”

  “Sort of met him?” Jamie asked.

  Chad nodded. “Yeah. I’ve never actually seen Panther. The two times I’ve met him in person were in dark clubs and I couldn’t get a good look at him. It was only ever for him to pass on physical paper, anyway.”

  “Huh. Well, I guess I’ll have to owe him one too,” Jamie said.

  Chad flashed him a smile. “So, that’s my sordid story. How about we have some fries?”

  “Yeah, that sounds good,” Jamie agreed, recognizing Chad needed to let it go. He’d come back to it, though.

  And it made him wonder, now, what he was going to do after college. He hadn’t been positive he could go into the police force anyway. He wasn’t sure how he’d have handled the physicals, but he would have figured that out. Now, however, he didn’t know if he wanted anything to do with it.

  He was pulled out of his thoughts when Chad opened his door. “Oops. Sorry, I was lost in thought.”

  “Nothing to be sorry for. It gave me a chance to open your door.”

  Jamie shook his head. “You—never mind.”

  Chad laughed. “Glad you see it my way.”

  Once they’d put their orders in for steak sandwiches, one of their mega-sized orders of fries, and had beers in hand, Chad tilted his head and studied him. “What happened?”

  Jamie raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

  “When we were on our way out to—” He glanced around, apparently making sure no one was within hearing range. “—to the pack lands, you were more… I don’t know, excited? Open? But when we left Tanner and Finley’s, you were much more reserved.”

  Jamie frowned down into his beer and took a sip. “I….” He took a deep breath. “I guess I’m just a little… worried? I….” He blew out another breath. “I once dated Finley.” He was actually a bit comforted by the spike of jealousy that came through their bond.

  Chad took his hand and Jamie squeezed it. “You did?”

  Jamie nodded. “It never went anywhere, of course. Finley wanted Tanner, not me. But I thought for a while that we might get together. And… I never loved him,” he said, glancing up. “But… I did let myself get my hopes up that I’d have a mate. You have to understand… destined mates, while they aren’t rare, they are unusual. And until Finley and Tanner, I’d never heard of same-sex destined mates. So I didn’t think I’d ever find mine. I figured those were rare. And if I knew someone who’d found theirs?”

  “That meant you’d have even less chance of finding yours,” Chad said, nodding.

  “Right. So though Fin wasn’t my destined mate, the rejection still hurt. I’d never considered mating a human as a chosen mate. Which meant my options were pretty damned slim. So… yeah. Well.” He cleared his throat and took a long pull from his beer. “Well, he wasn’t the first to not want me. My family didn’t like the fact that I was gay. They kicked me out.”

  Before Chad could say anything, their number was called and they collected their food. Jamie busied himself with his sandwich for a moment, but he couldn’t regret saying anything when Chad spoke.

  “Are the wolves as homophobic as humans?”

  Jamie shrugged. “I don’t know, to be honest. I’ve only ever been part of three packs. The one I grew up in—my alpha didn’t like how my parents treated me, but he couldn’t force them to accept me. The one Fin’s family is from was pretty welcoming, but they’re small and had already had a gay wolf—Finley. Of course, Forbes, here… well, they have Tanner, you know? I don’t think it’s a general thing. Like… sure, we’re encouraged to procreate, but I really think it’s mostly the… human societal thing.”

  “That makes sense. Well, their loss,” Chad said, shaking his head. “I know that’s not much comfort, but… my mom accepted me and I think she’ll love you.”

  Jamie looked up. “Your mom?”

  “Well, I’m not about to be with someone—mated, married, or otherwise—and not have them meet my mom, am I?”

  Jamie blinked. “No, I guess not. I just….” He sighed and set his sandwich down. “Look, I know this is new to you—all of it. I know I’m being—I’m just—but I can’t seem to stop it. I’m worried. I’ve—”

  “Been rejected before. I get it. But they weren’t your destined mate. I am. While we may not know what to do with the claiming thing yet, that doesn’t mean I don’t want you. That whole world may be new to me, but I like to think I keep an open mind. And since you’ve shown me, then what’s not to believe? I’ve seen you and I’ve felt the bond.”

  Jamie stared at him for a long moment, ridiculously close to tears. “I… you… you really want me?”

  Chad nodded. “Yeah. Like I said, I’m not sure I’m up for being bitten yet—until we find out what it’ll do—but the rest?” He gave a funny half smile. “I missed you. That little bit of time you were getting your phone, I missed you. If that doesn’t tell me it’s real, I don’t know what else will.”

  Jamie focused on his fries as he fought to get control of himself. He took several deep breaths, but it didn’t seem to work. He didn’t know why his emotions were so volatile. They never had been before. He didn’t think it was coming from Chad—it felt internal. He realized at least part of it was coming from his wolf. It didn’t understand why he was waiting and was anxious to complete the bond and cement their mating.

  He didn’t notice movement—which just went to show how messed up he was—but Chad slid his arms around Jamie, pulling him close.

  “Hey, is it me? Do you want me?”

  Jamie looked up, blinking, and then his eyes widened. “Yes! No! Yes, I mean, I… shit.” Jamie shook his head as Chad chuckled. “Yeah, I want you. I like you.” He sighed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I mean, part of it is my wolf.”

  “Your wolf?”

  Jamie nodded. “Yeah, uh, he doesn’t understand waiting. They don’t really get the human side of us. As far as he’s concerned… he found you. So for him, it’s simple. Mate—bond, right?”

  Chad smiled. “Right.”

  “But there’s a human side too. Full of human fears and human worries. And that’s not so easy to put aside. I could give in to him. I could claim you, cementing our bond. And really? It would probably be okay. I mean, I don’t see how the gods would give me a mate I couldn’t claim. But I don’t want to take the risk without finding out mor
e. Anyway, so there’s this big two-sided pile of anxiety in my head and… I’m sorry.”

  “Hey. I can only guess at what you’re having to deal with. A lot has happened over the last few days. It’s a lot to settle in your head. I can’t imagine what it was like to be trapped in wolf form with me—your mate—and not be able to talk or even communicate well.”

  “Frustrating,” Jamie blurted.

  Chad laughed. “Yeah, that it would be. Well, we’re already seeing we get along in a lot of ways. We’ll just see even more, the more we’re together.” He studied Jamie. “I have a feeling we’ll be just fine together. Let me make it clear.” He paused and Jamie nodded. “I want you with me. I want to see how this goes, strengthen our mating in whatever nonscary way we can.”

  Jamie couldn’t resist laughing at that.

  “Right. Let’s leave the blood out of it for the moment. Otherwise, we’ll do what we need to ease both sides of you, okay?”

  Jamie swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”

  Chad smiled and kissed Jamie on the cheek. “Now, how about we eat those fries, then go get some ice cream?”

  Jamie looked up at Chad, considering him for a long moment. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  “Good.” To Jamie’s surprise, Chad pulled his tray over so they stayed next to each other. Chad left one arm around him and picked up some fries with the other hand. “Now… books. What’s your favorite?”

  “SO, WHAT do you think?” Chad asked, looking up at the current list of flavors.

  Jamie considered the options. “I’m thinking cookies and cream.”

  Chad shook his head. “That’s it, you can’t be my mate.”

  Jamie raised his eyebrows.

  “You can’t go to Dave and Andy’s and get a mundane flavor like that.”

  “Well, what are you thinking?” Jamie grinned.

  “Oatmeal raisin cookie,” Chad said with a nod.

  “Eww, no. Raisins are just dead grapes and look like… just no.”

  Chad stared at him, lips twitching. “Are you really insulting raisins?”

  Jamie struggled to hold in his grin. “They’re awful.”