No Sacrifice Read online

  Chance didn’t look too convinced, but he glanced at Angelo, who also nodded. “I think I can kiss him without falling too hard in love,” he said, then laughed when Sebastian hit him.

  “You are not helping.”

  Patrick laughed too, feeling better. “Well, I guess I better talk to Jack soon. This ought to be interesting.” He glanced over at Rhys, who looked up at him, and their eyes met for a moment. And the look in Rhys’s eyes threw him off. There was longing, sadness, and… disappointment in the look? No, depression. Patrick frowned. Despite the confusion, he felt bad for Rhys. “Are you okay?”

  Rhys glanced around the table, then nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He gave a weak smile. “Come on. We’re up after lunch.”

  The action scene concluded with some basic hand-holding and hugging, but no kissing. Patrick handled it just fine, even if it felt like Rhys was holding him tighter than was strictly necessary for the scene. The only uncomfortable part was a bit of nuzzling Nadir had to respond to with a smile. Patrick could almost feel something behind it from Rhys. He tried to ignore it.

  When they were done with the scene, Jack waved Patrick over. The others retreated to their dressing rooms to change and clean up as Patrick approached the chairs. Jack motioned to one, and Patrick sat. “Okay, so… I gather you’ve heard about a few of the changes.”

  “Yes,” Patrick said carefully. “What prompted it?”

  “James had what I think is a stroke of brilliance. If we handle the end of each episode right, I think our ratings could shoot through the roof over this. Especially after Nadir saves Bathasar’s life, fighting the assassin while naked.”

  Patrick blinked at him in pure shock. “You want me to what?”

  “Fight naked. It’ll appear as if you get out of Bathasar’s bed, fight the assassin naked—and save his life.”

  “Naked. You want another naked scene. And I’m supposed to look like I’ve had sex with another person?”

  “Well, it’s not a full sex scene!” Jack hurried to say. “It’s mostly fade to black. It just looks like you’re about to have sex.”

  Patrick caught the “mostly” part, even though Jack mumbled it. “But then I get up, naked, and have a fight scene?”

  The frazzled director finally handed Patrick a stack of brass-brad-bound paper. “Your part starts on page twelve.”

  Patrick blinked at him for a moment, then opened the script. The first twelve pages were Cyrus and Teman. After a break, it picked up with him and Angelo—Nadir and Bathasar—talking for a few lines, and then they started kissing. He only skimmed the lines, but there was something about love that made him back up. “I’m, I mean Nadir is supposed to be falling in love with Bathasar? But… I thought the viewers liked Cyrus and Nadir’s relationship?”

  Jack nodded. “They do. But there are a few other shows competing with us this season. And one of them is big for its emotional messes. Mark agrees with me—what James has going here gives us a good chance at stealing some of those viewers.”

  Patrick turned back to the script and kept reading. He did see where he and Angelo would be in bed. There was touching and kissing, and they apparently would get into position. Then there was vague language about how much would be shown—which gave Patrick an uneasy feeling—then finally, the scene would break. It cut to Teman and Cyrus for their love scene, which Patrick noted was also vaguely fade to black but pretty steamy beforehand, then back to him and Angelo. Patrick slowed and started reading more carefully. Cross outs and corrections covered the pages, but he got a good enough idea. He’d be completely naked, except—he assumed—for the cock sock over his genitals. He wasn’t worried about the fighting moves. He knew their choreographer would work with him until he could get that without too much trouble.

  No, that wasn’t the biggest issue, to him. He stared at Jack. “First off, I’ve contracted for exactly two sex scenes and one scene with full nudity.” He set the script down and crossed his arms. He could tell Jack and James were set on the new idea. Getting them to change their minds wasn’t going to work. But he’d at least make it hurt. “Secondly, the idea of my character cheating… possibly even falling in love, does not sit well with me. You’re changing everything on us. What did Angelo say?”

  Jack did not look happy. “He wasn’t too thrilled with it either. Or Rhys or Sebastian. What do you want?”

  “What do you think, Jack? Call Janie. If I’m happy with what I hear, I’ll do it. Otherwise… you can find a new Nadir.”

  He was taking a gamble, and he knew it. A gamble that, with Avery, he really couldn’t afford. But he thought the odds were on his side. They didn’t have time to get a new actor for Nadir, and viewers did not like to see actors replaced unless it was something extreme, like someone dying.

  Jack frowned. “Come on, what’s one more scene?”

  “You know what the deal is, Jack. You know why it’s an issue. I’m not arguing this. If Janie is happy, I’ll do it. Call her.” With that, he headed to his dressing room. He seriously wanted a shot of whiskey… and Chance.

  Janie came through, calling him on the way to the day care center. He was still not happy about adding another nude scene to his resume, but at least he had the satisfaction of making them scramble a little and think about it. Janie told him all four of them had put up a fight, and Patrick was happy to hear it. He was even happier to hear the number she quoted him that would be a bonus for both the episode he was on and the second one. Patrick started making plans in his head for the money.

  He and Chance picked up Avery, who was thrilled to see them both. Patrick was a little bemused when Avery told his new friend—a little boy named Evan who looked a lot like Arnold from his last school, with bright red hair and more freckles than pale skin—that he didn’t really have two daddies yet. He went on to say they were both just like daddies and Chance loved him and that someday he hoped Chance would really be his daddy. Patrick and Chance had stared at each other for a long moment until Evan tugged on Patrick’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Avery’s da. And Avery’s almost-daddy.” They grinned at each other and turned to the little boy, finally managing to reply. Then Chance scooped Avery up, Patrick collected frog and backpack, and they were able to start toward home.

  Neither was up for trying to cook that night, so they made Avery’s evening with pizza. He fell asleep on his plate, prompting both men to whip out their phones and take pictures. As Chance was putting the phone away, Patrick saw the wallpaper—a picture of him and Avery from their day at the beach. Avery had Patrick’s sunglasses on and was trying to push his own onto Patrick’s face.

  Chance blushed. “One of my favorite pictures.”

  Patrick smiled. He’d needed to see that, be reminded that, even if things were weird and crazy at the studio, he and Chance were good. He pulled his phone back out and held it up. Chance and Avery at the beach smiled up from the lock screen, and Chance’s smile spread when he saw it. “Just wait,” Patrick murmured, then unlocked his phone and turned it around again. The picture that filled the screen there had Chance wet, nipples hard, looking sexy as hell in his skimpy swimsuit.

  “Oh,” Chance said, eyes widening. “That’s… wow.” He glanced up, and Patrick grinned at the red cheeks.

  “Confession time: I once jacked off to that picture.”

  Chance’s eyes widened even more. “You did?”

  Patrick nodded. “Yeah. I was, uh, researching for the new season.” His cheeks colored. “And, uh, well, I was researching gay sex. There’s a guy on one of the sites that looks kind of like you. Not exactly, but, you know, blond hair, blue eyes, a little scruffy, built.” He looked away, unable to meet Chance’s eyes. “Anyway, I got really turned on, and I ended up jacking off. And I used your picture for it.”

  He didn’t see Chance move, but a few seconds later, his boyfriend’s arms were around him. “I jacked off to the poster,” he whispered.

  Patrick looked up, eyebrows raised. “Really?”

 
Chance nodded. “Yeah. Well… until I had the pic of you at the beach, then…. So… that’s hot. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

  “Thanks,” Patrick mumbled.

  “Let’s get Avery to bed, hmm?”

  “Yeah,” Patrick agreed. It took work for them to get him clean enough—he was just too tired for a full bath—then they got him in bed. He didn’t want to, claiming he wasn’t tired, but Patrick knew better. Luckily for them, once his head hit the pillow, he was already starting to drift. Three pages into his bedtime book and he was out like a light.

  Patrick flopped onto the couch, sighing. Chance leaned over and gave him a long, slow kiss. He pulled back, brushing his fingers over Patrick’s cheek. “You’ve had a shit day. I was going to get you a drink to help you relax, but I have a better idea.”

  “Oh?” Patrick asked, looking up and raising his eyebrows. He watched Chance round the couch, then kneel in front of him. When he realized what Chance was about to do, he said, “A ghrá, you don’t—”

  “Shh. Let me,” Chance said, reaching up and undoing Patrick’s button and zipper.

  A moment later, Patrick’s head dropped onto the back of the couch, his eyes slid closed, and he sucked in a breath as his cock was engulfed in Chance’s warm mouth. “Oh shit,” he groaned, one hand going to Chance’s head.

  Chance hummed happily around his cock, hardening it the rest of the way, then started sucking, bobbing, and doing all those amazing things that made Patrick crazy. Before too long, Patrick was gritting his teeth to hold in sound as his balls emptied down Chance’s throat. By the time he came down from it, Chance had grunted his own release out into his hand. He reached for tissues, ostensibly to clean it up, but Patrick took the hand and pulled it toward himself. When Chance’s eyebrows came up, Patrick smiled. “You’re not the only one who gets dessert.”

  Chance grinned as Patrick cleaned the hand with his tongue, and as they were putting themselves away, Patrick realized he was feeling a lot better. When he fell asleep much later that night, this time with him curled around Chance, he sent up a silent prayer that he didn’t fuck things up with Chance like he had Emily. Then he buried his face in Chance’s scent and fell asleep.

  The next several days—and most of the rest of the first episode—went smoothly. A little too smoothly for Patrick’s peace of mind, but Jack didn’t seem to find much of anything to pick on. They had to redo stuff, of course, but that was as often because the light wasn’t right, some sound went off, or over something similarly technical. Very little of it was because of the actors. Patrick suspected Jack was saving his perfectionism for the intimate scenes.

  The first of these crept up on Patrick. Before he was ready for it, he and Angelo were discussing their first scene together. Chance had spent time with him, helping him learn the new lines, but when it came down to acting in love with Bathasar—or at least like he was falling in love—there wasn’t much Chance could do. It was a different situation, because Patrick was already in love with Chance.

  “So,” Angelo said as they waited for the set dresser, Brad, and prop assistant, George, to get things ready. “I’ve discovered a few things over the last couple of years of working with Jack that might help us do this in as few takes as possible with him.”

  Patrick chuckled. “Because it is, literally, impossible to get in one.”

  Angelo laughed with him. “Yeah, pretty much. So, our first kiss is today, and one of the things I’ve figured out is that if we actually kiss—not the Hollywood-fake version but the real thing with tongue and all—Jack tends to accept them much quicker. It’ll still be a few takes, especially since we haven’t been alone together before, but hopefully we can go back to kissing our real lovers that much sooner.”

  Patrick grinned. “I like that idea. Not that there’s anything wrong with kissing you.”

  Angelo shook his head. “And I’m sure it won’t exactly be a hardship to kiss you.” He winked, and Patrick laughed. “But yeah, for Sebastian’s sanity, I’d prefer to keep it to a minimum. I’m sure Chance would appreciate it too.”

  “Yeah,” Patrick said, nodding. “He’s… he’s being amazing about it, but I know it bothers him to see me kissing other people—other men, especially.”

  Angelo nodded. “I can understand that. He will get used to it, I promise.”

  Patrick considered him for a moment. “I hope so. It’s… the only thing I ever wanted to do. It’s what I am, you know?”

  “I do. But Sebastian and I talked this out. If we’re going to stay together, we’ve got to be confident in our love for each other. I have to remember that he loves me and that seeing him kiss Rhys or even you isn’t going to change that.”

  “I have to admit that I don’t know if I could watch Chance kiss another man.” Patrick shook his head. “How hypocritical is that?”

  “It’s not. Not really. I mean… if you were going out and looking for every role you could find that involved gay men, I’d say maybe. But even then….” Angelo shrugged a shoulder.

  Patrick nodded. “Actually… I’ve been thinking about that. I’m going to try to avoid them—romantic roles—when we’re done here. I just… there’s lots of other kinds of roles in Hollywood, you know?”

  “Yup.” Angelo smiled. “I’ve been thinking that too. Or… something similar.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, so, you’re supposed to look stunned that I kiss you,” he said, looking down at the copy of the sides he held. “But then get into it.”

  “Hmm. Well, that shouldn’t be too hard.” Patrick read through the notes he’d made in the margins, then went back over his lines again. “Okay. I think we can handle this. I still think Jack and James are batshit for it,” he muttered, shaking his head.

  “So do I. I think we’re losing some of what makes the show so good, but….” He shook his head. “That’s their business. We’re here to bring the characters to life.”

  “True.” Patrick opened his mouth to speak, but then Jack called them. “Okay. Here goes. Uh… how does the old line go? ‘Well, darlin’, one of two things is about to happen. For either, I apologize.’”

  Angelo laughed. “Indeed.”

  Patrick and Angelo took their places outside the door they were supposed to enter. They exchanged smiles, then worked their expressions into serious ones when the calls were put out. Finally, Jack called “Action!” and Patrick watched Angelo step through the door and cross the room to the “window.”

  Patrick walked in a few seconds later, then looked up at Angelo. “Your Highness,” he said, then bowed low.

  “Nadir, you don’t have to do that to me. I’ve told you that. We’re friends, aren’t we?” Angelo asked.

  Patrick stood and frowned. “But… Your Highness, what if….”

  Angelo rolled his eyes. “What if someone saw it?”

  Patrick sighed. “Precisely, Your Highness. If someone saw, they’d start to question. I’m supposed to be posing as a lover, not really be a friend.”

  Angelo smiled and stepped up. “I sincerely doubt anyone would question if my lover stopped bowing to me all the time,” he said softly.

  Patrick blinked up at him. “But… Your Highness… I-I d-don’t….” Patrick was grateful when Jack didn’t cut over that. He’d fumbled that stutter just about every time he’d practiced.

  “And that’s another thing,” Angelo said, lifting a hand and placing a finger under Patrick’s chin. “Can you not bring yourself to call me Bathasar?”

  Patrick looked up into Angelo’s eyes and swallowed. “You… you want me to drop the title? Your Highness?”

  “Yes,” Angelo said. “You’ve felt it, haven’t you, Nadir? What’s between us?”

  Patrick could almost feel Nadir’s rising panic as Angelo closed in a little more. “What’s… between us? Your— I mean, Bathasar?”

  “Mmm,” Angelo said, but before he could say anything else, Jack cut the scene.

  “That wasn’t bad,” he said, approaching them. “But it needs so
mething….” He tapped the sides against his lips and tilted his head. “Patrick, see if you can’t get into Nadir’s head a little more. Make him think he’s in love with Bathasar.”

  Patrick scowled. “But he’s not.”

  “Yet,” Jack said mysteriously. “Make him think it.” He backed up. “Reset to Patrick’s line.”

  Angelo took a half step back, and Patrick closed his eyes. Nadir is falling for Bathasar. But he was having trouble getting it in place. He sighed, held up a finger for Jack to wait, and thought it through again. Nadir did care for Bathasar. They were friends. Perhaps it wasn’t the leap he thought. Instead, more like his own personal block on it. How did he feel when he realized he was falling for Chance? He glanced at Jack and nodded.

  Jack made the calls, the camera operator gave his, and then, “Action!”

  “What’s… between us? Your— I mean… Bathasar?” Patrick asked. His breathing shortened as Angelo closed in again.

  “Mmm, yes, Nadir,” Angelo stage-whispered.

  Patrick looked up into Bathasar’s gray eyes. Angelo himself had dark eyes, but he wore colored contacts for the role. Patrick blinked as he was supposed to, and then Angelo’s lips were on his.

  He’d forgotten Angelo was going to kiss him for real. It took him a full thirty seconds to return it. Patrick was a little surprised Jack didn’t cut the scene, but he must have been happy with the reaction. Patrick lifted his hands and threaded one through Angelo’s hair, the other resting on an arm. He finally started returning the kiss, and as he did, something registered in him.

  He wasn’t reacting to Angelo. Nadir was, at least mentally, but Patrick’s body was as calm as could be. When they broke apart, he forced himself to remember he was supposed to be stunned, and he turned the expression on Angelo. “Your…. Yo… uh, Bathasar?”

  “You feel it now, don’t you, Nadir?” Angelo asked.

  Patrick gave the shocked nod. Before he could speak again, Angelo’s lips were on him once more. Patrick gripped Angelo’s tunic tighter, leaned in as the script called for, and returned the kiss. It felt a little odd to be using tongue, kissing someone he was, apparently, completely not attracted to. But he called on his years of theater and did his best to make his face appear that he was attracted to Angelo—or, in this case, Bathasar.