No Sacrifice Read online

  When they broke apart, Angelo brushed a thumb over Patrick’s cheek. “Tell me,” Angelo said, eyes fixed to Patrick’s. “Tell me—”

  “CUT!” Jack called.

  Patrick backed up and wiped his lips, grinning at Angelo’s wink.

  Angelo turned a polite look at Jack. “Yes?”

  “It’s close. I think, though, we might need to adjust the hold. Pull him closer. Make it look like you’re not just kissing him, but that you really want him.”

  Angelo raised an eyebrow but nodded. “Okay.”

  “Good. Okay, reset to ‘You feel it now.’” Jack took his seat. Once the calls were made, Angelo delivered his line again, then pulled Patrick in. Their lips met, the kiss deepened, and Patrick let instinct guide him a little. He pushed his fingers through Angelo’s hair, gripped the silk of Angelo’s tunic, then poured himself into the kiss. He didn’t mind kissing Angelo—the guy was good with his lips… and tongue—but Patrick didn’t want to keep kissing him for long. He wanted to be with Chance.

  Angelo returned Patrick’s enthusiasm, one hand sliding down Patrick’s back to the base of his spine. He held Patrick tightly, and despite himself, Patrick felt himself stir just a bit. It was very little, though, for which Patrick was grateful.

  Finally, they broke apart. “Tell me,” Angelo said, eyes fixed to Patrick’s. “Tell me you feel it.”

  “Yes, I do. I-I feel it.” Patrick swallowed and took a shaky breath.

  “Tell me you want me,” Angelo murmured, but Jack cut.

  “Sorry!” Angelo said, raising a hand. “My fault.”

  “Again. Patrick, ‘Yes, I do,’” Jack said, then waited for Angelo and Patrick to be glued together again and for the cameraman to be ready. Finally, he made the call.

  Patrick delivered his line and managed the swallow and shaky breath. Then Angelo spoke. “Tell me you want me,” he said, loud enough this time to be heard but still in the murmured way.

  “I…. Of course I want you, Bathasar. I….” Patrick looked away, taking another breath. “But… what about Teman? Cyrus?”

  “They’re together tonight.”

  Patrick looked up again, eyes wide. “They… they are?”

  Angelo nodded and frowned. “Does that upset you? That they want to be together?”

  Patrick frowned too and picked at a place on Angelo’s tunic. He could feel Nadir’s confusion going on in his own head. “I… I don’t know. I….”

  “It’s okay, Nadir. Cyrus does love you and always will. He just misses spending time with Teman.”

  Patrick nodded, then looked up. “So, uh….”

  “So….” Angelo said, kissing Patrick’s forehead. “So spend the night with me.”

  Patrick considered Angelo for a long, silent moment, then nodded. “Yes. I… uh….” Patrick’s blush was real enough. “I….”

  “Make love with me, Nadir,” Angelo said, and Patrick realized more than ever just how good an actor Angelo was, because Patrick almost believed Angelo wanted him.

  “I… yes, Bathasar,” Patrick said, then leaned up. “Let’s… let’s make love.” Then Patrick initiated the last kiss. Angelo’s arms tightened, pulling him in, their lips opened, and this kiss was even deeper and more thorough than the last ones. Patrick slid his fingers up into Angelo’s hair again, poured himself into the kiss, and felt that slight stir again when Angelo pressed their bodies so close and their tongues slid and danced. Somewhere along the way, Patrick realized Angelo was reacting a little to him too, and he didn’t feel too bad that he was.

  Patrick had no idea how long they kissed, but in what felt like no time at all, Jack called, “And CUT! Well done!”

  Angelo and Patrick pulled apart. Patrick blinked at Jack, more than a little surprised they’d managed so well. “No repeats?” he asked, shaking his head.

  “Do you want more takes? Look, if you wanna kiss Angelo off the set, that’s your business. But this scene is done. That ought to have the viewers tuning in the following week.” Jack actually rubbed his hands together as he walked away.

  Patrick shook his head again, then glanced up at Angelo to see his friend’s rueful expression. “Well, uh, I guess it worked.”

  “Yup. I’ve spent enough time trying to appease that man to have a good idea or two.”

  Patrick chuckled. “Indeed. Thanks for that.”

  “I noticed nothing happened. Or, well, almost nothing. Are you okay?”

  Patrick nodded. “Yes, thanks. I was a little surprised, but I guess I’m just getting used to it.”

  “That’s probably true. And, uh, what did happen—both of us?” he asked, and Patrick nodded a reply. “Truthfully, we’d have to be pretty much dead to not react to that kind of stimulation, especially since we both like men. So… don’t worry. As for what didn’t?” He paused to chuckle. “Could be you’re just not attracted to me.” Angelo grinned and winked. “Don’t worry—my heart’s not too broken.”

  Patrick laughed, feeling very relieved about the whole thing.

  “You are not funny!” Sebastian said, coming up to them. He turned to Patrick. “It looked good. He’s a good kisser, isn’t he?”

  “Uh….” Patrick hesitated, cheeks reddening. He somehow thought discussing someone’s kissing ability with said person’s lover was in poor taste. Even if it was just for a role.

  Sebastian chuckled. “It’s okay. I’m not upset.” He smiled up at Angelo, then turned back to Patrick. After patting Patrick’s shoulder, Sebastian said in Patrick’s ear, “I still get his heart, and I go home with him. That’s what matters.”

  Patrick smiled. “Yeah, it is. Thanks.”

  Sebastian stood back. “Besides, things are likely to get quite a bit more… involved… when you get to the sex scene.”

  Patrick’s eyes widened, and he nodded. “Yeah, that’s true.” He glanced up at Angelo, who looked a lot more relaxed about it than he did, but he did notice there was a tiny bit of apprehension in the man’s face too. “Well, uh, thanks. See you tomorrow.”

  The first thing he did was go looking for Chance. He’d hoped Chance was on the edge of the set, as had so often been the case since the season started up. But he wasn’t where Patrick expected him, and Patrick finally tracked him down at sound storage.

  Chance looked up in surprise, which turned to almost pure shock when Patrick immediately pushed him against the wall, leaned in until they were flush against each other, then kissed Chance hard. He put everything into it, wanting to clean the feel of Angelo’s lips and body off him.

  Chance, of course, didn’t even hesitate. He wrapped his arms around Patrick and returned the kiss. Patrick was thrilled when his cock stirred and started to harden. He’d be a little uncomfortable getting back to his dressing room, but he didn’t care. He was kissing his lover, and everything felt… right again.

  They broke apart, and Chance looked down at Patrick with eyebrows raised and a grin on his face. “What did I do to deserve that?”

  “Exist,” Patrick replied, lips spreading into a wide smile. “Did you see it?”

  “See what?”

  “The scene with Angelo.” Patrick grinned even wider. “I didn’t react. Well, a tiny bit at the end, but Angelo said that, since we both like men, we’d have to be pretty much dead to not react at least a little. But… I reacted only a tiny bit. Nadir did more, but I didn’t.”

  “Oh?” Chance said, eyebrows going up again.

  “Yup. And we made it convincing enough to do it in only a few takes.”

  “Wow. Congrats. So… really, why’d you come kiss me like this?”

  “I wanted to lose the feel of someone else’s lips,” Patrick said, dropping his eyes to Chance’s black T-shirt.

  “I’ll never begrudge you that, baby,” Chance murmured, tilting Patrick’s face back up. He closed the distance and kissed Patrick again. It was just as full as the one before, and any remaining thoughts or feeling of Angelo were quite gone. Patrick was also quite hard, but he really didn’t
care. When Chance pulled back, he smiled. “Go get your makeup and stuff off. I’ll come by your room in a few, and then we can go home. I think I’d like to spend the evening with you in my arms.”

  Patrick smiled and nodded. “I’d like that too. Okay. See you soon, a ghrá.”

  With another very short kiss and a bit of adjustment—which Chance grinned at—Patrick headed off, feeling worlds better.

  Chapter 17

  He didn’t have time over the next few days to worry about his scene with Angelo. While Sebastian and Rhys were busy with their love scene, as well as a few other scenes they had together, he spent all day working with the choreographer and stunt coordinator on the fight scene. Hemmy Tyler—whose real name was Heimdall, after the Norse god—was a new actor that season. Patrick hadn’t had a chance to work with him before, but what he’d seen thus far of the assassin, Terak, impressed Patrick. He looked forward to the fight.

  Hemmy was also doing his own stunts, since they were very basic. The last day before the scene, they practiced their moves, Patrick working extra hard to avoid the knife Hemmy would have. It was fake, as all the props were. Even though the knife was made of wood, the sock Patrick would wear to cover his cock would certainly not protect much from the edge, which was still sharper than he’d like near his genitals. He’d tried to convince them to let him wear flesh-colored underwear, but they’d been adamant that the viewers see his ass. So he was doing his damnedest to learn how to protect himself.

  In all the work he was doing for the fight scene, he’d forgotten to worry about the upcoming sex scene, which was to be the next he filmed. So the night before filming when Chance mentioned it after they’d put Avery to bed, Patrick started to panic more than a little. It wasn’t that he was worried about the lines—he’d practiced those plenty.

  No, he was afraid of how he’d react. He’d started to react from just a kiss with Angelo. Even though the scene was supposed to be “fade to black,” Patrick knew there would still be more than enough to titillate the viewers. If Patrick knew Jack at all, they’d probably film way more than needed.

  “Oh fuck,” he muttered to Chance.

  “What’s wrong, baby?” Chance asked.

  Patrick lay against Chance, who was playing with the long black strands of his hair, and rubbed his face. “I’m… not looking forward to it. I mean… I don’t even care about being naked anymore. Or… the things that’ll show. I mean, I’m not happy about it,” he added to make sure Chance understood he didn’t want to share his body with millions of viewers. Patrick felt Chance nod. “But…. Fuck, I reacted to him—even if it was only a little—from that kiss. What the hell is going to happen tomorrow?”

  Chance leaned in and kissed the top of Patrick’s head, choosing his words carefully. A rerun of their show played in silence on the television, but he ignored it. He had his own reservations about the scene in question, though many less than the ones he’d have over the scenes Patrick would have with Rhys. Chance still had a feeling something more was there on Rhys’s side of things, despite Patrick’s assurances, and he didn’t like the idea of those two in any sort of intimate situation.

  But Angelo was different. Chance knew Angelo had his own lover—someone he was very much in love with, for that matter, if what he’d seen was any indication. Angelo may even react to Patrick, but he would still go home with Sebastian, and it wouldn’t change how he felt. “Remember what Angelo said after your kiss?”

  Patrick nodded. “Yeah. I’d have to be dead not to—especially since I like men.”

  “Exactly. Not everything we respond to physically makes sense emotionally. I mean….” He paused to think it through. “Take porn, for instance. Sometimes we watch stuff—and get turned on by it—when we’d never do it in real life. You’re not going to go fuck Angelo, but having your dick rubbed, getting kissed like that—yeah, that’s going to turn you on.”

  Chance watched Patrick play with a frayed edge of the cushion. “I don’t like it.”

  “I’d be bothered if you did. But that’s part of what makes this okay. You don’t like that you react.” He dropped a kiss on the top of Patrick’s head, then buried his face in Patrick’s hair and inhaled. His own dick twitched, as it did anytime he took the time to stop and smell Patrick. He loved the man’s scent, loved the mix of cologne and Patrick that filled him.

  “What if… what if I… uh… come?”

  Chance almost didn’t hear it, the question was so quiet. His first reaction was then I will fucking kill Angelo. But he knew he needed to temper that. Patrick wasn’t at fault here. He was trying to deal with something Chance could only begin to imagine. And Patrick was, obviously, quite scared of Chance’s reaction to it. He took a deep breath—Patrick’s scent filling him again—and finally could speak. “First, it is extremely rare that an actor actually comes during the scene. I’m sure it’s not unheard of, but it’s rare. But with the way some of the scenes have been on TV lately, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s way more than fake humping going on. I don’t know what Jack is really going to get you to do. I don’t know what he’s going to try to push. But listen… if that’s what Jack wants, if Angelo’s okay with things, then do what you have to—whatever that is—just do it, to get it done, okay?”

  When Patrick didn’t respond, Chance tried another tack. “Think about this… porn stars have to react to physical stimuli, right? They obviously don’t love everyone they’re with, do they?” Patrick shook his head. “No, they don’t. But when they’re stroked or sucked, they get turned on—it’s a base physical reaction. Now think about this. How do you react when I”—he leaned into Patrick’s ear—“start talking softly, like this.” He pitched his voice low like he knew turned Patrick on. “And I start talking about how I love you, love your hot, hard body, love feeling your dick in my mouth, love feeling you slide down on my dick.” He watched Patrick’s shorts and smiled when an obvious lump appeared.

  “Fuck, a ghrá….” Patrick moaned.

  Chance nipped at the ear he was talking into, reached out, and ran his hand down Patrick’s chest. “Exactly,” he murmured. “I know I turn you on, baby. I know your dick gets hard for me, that you want and prefer me, and that’s what matters. Do you love me?”

  “Fuck yes,” Patrick answered without hesitation.

  “Well, then there’s your answer. It matters that you’ll come home with me, we’ll have fucking amazing sex, and fall asleep together.” He brushed a bit of Patrick’s hair to the side and kissed the exposed neck. “Hmm. Maybe you just need to fill my ass with that big dick of yours and fuck me until you can’t think of anyone else.”

  He saw Patrick’s cock jump almost at the same time his own did. The remembered feel of it, the thought of it, had his dick filling fast. He let his hand move a little farther and curled around the lump under the fabric, massaging it slowly.

  “Oh fuck, a ghrá.” Chance watched Patrick struggle for breath; then he spoke again. “Is that all you think about? Sex?”

  “Hmm, with you?” Chance asked, nipping at the ear again. Then he let go of Patrick’s cock and took hold of Patrick’s chin and tugged. Patrick looked up at him. “No. I love sex with you—no one has ever felt as good as you do, in any way—but I’d be content just holding you. Watching movies or whatever, I don’t care. I love you. You’ve got a fucking amazing body, baby, but it’s you that I love.”

  Patrick smiled and shifted, turning around and leaning over Chance. “Good. I just… needed to hear that. Look, uh… whatever happens tomorrow, I’m sorry, okay? I… I’m not going into it to, uh, get laid or anything. I mean….” He shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe there’ll be so many people and Jack will be so particular that I won’t even get turned on a little bit.”

  Chance smiled. “I doubt it. Angelo’s done a sex scene before in front of Jack. And I know that Jack prefers a closed set. Don’t feel bad,” he added when Patrick swallowed and looked down. Chance tilted his face back up. “It’s okay. Just remember that
I love you, and I know that you love me.”

  Patrick looked at him for a long moment, then nodded. “Okay. I love you too. I’m sorry, I just….”

  “No sorry.” Chance smiled. “I know. Now, does that mean I don’t get your cock?”

  Patrick dove in as an answer, and in seconds, they were kissing, Patrick’s tongue sliding along Chance’s lower lip. He opened his mouth, drawing in that amazing taste. He felt Patrick buck against him, and he could feel and taste a bit of desperation in Patrick.

  Chance cupped Patrick’s face, pouring everything into the kiss, doing everything possible to give Patrick what he needed. Chance wished he could put his own feelings away, forget his own worries and fears about the next day. But the whole thing had just played too big a part in their lives so far.

  He did his best to push the worries aside, knowing they’d crop up again when he settled down to sleep, but he was grateful, at least, that they could sleep together. Working to forget them, he ran his hands down Patrick’s chest and around to cup the amazing ass and pull until Patrick was grinding into him. Both of them were quite hard, and Chance decided he didn’t have the patience for slow.

  Chance tugged at Patrick’s T-shirt, then pulled it off when he moved out of the way. Patrick returned the favor, and in only another minute or so, their clothes were scattered, their hands moving over each other’s naked bodies, and their lips fused again in another sanity-stealing kiss. Chance loved it, loved the fact that he couldn’t think much, could only focus on his lover.

  Patrick started moving, rubbing their cocks together, and Chance moaned to encourage him, too lost in the kisses, in the touches, to give any other kind of verbal response. He added his own movements to the mix and was rewarded with a loud groan from Patrick and a “Fuck, a ghrá!”